To Find That Spark
by PinkTeaRose
Summary: After Hermione's divorce from Ron, she struggles to find meaning in her life again. Minerva, as Headmistress, isolates herself from those around her and begins to lose herself completely into her work. Who could she ever trust to see past her names sake?
1. Chapter 1

To Find That Spark…

Hermione Granger/Minerva McGonagall

Summary: After Hermione's divorce from Ron, she struggles to find meaning in her life again. Minerva, as Headmistress, isolates herself from those around her and begins to lose herself completely into her work. Who could she ever trust to see past her names sake- to look into her eyes and see Minerva and not the iconic Headmistress?

Rating: M

Mostly DH compliant. Ron and Hermione divorced. Not compliant to McGonagall's Pottermore backstory.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, sadly.

_A/N: This is a story that I have been wanting to publish for quite some time. There are already a lot more chapters than this, but I wanted to wait and see if anyone liked it before I published more. Reviews are appreciated. All mistakes are mine. Enjoy! _

It had been a long year. With Rose and Hugo constantly but playfully aggravating each other and Ron sending her incessant letters about their divorce and custody battle, her mind was scattered and utterly exhausted. She hadn't been able to work with the ministry or even consider an apprenticeship. With her life being displayed every week in the "Golden Trio" update in the prophet (albeit the information was much stretched and not really factual), Hermione had opted to devote her time to her children. Though Rose and Hugo made her infinitely happy with their accidental magic and joyful imagination, her small London apartment often left her with a feeling of loneliness and isolation. Gone were her days of sitting in a library and absorbing information, spending hours a day practicing newly learned spells. Her life revolved around her children and teaching them before they too would be off to Hogwarts. Ron had been adamant that the children didn't attend a Muggle school. The reason behind them going seemed simple enough to Hermione- Rose and Hugo needed to learn how to read, write, and do simple mathematics, just as she had learned at her Muggle school before going to Hogwarts. But with Ron's refusal to allow them to attend, she had scrounged up a small library of magic children's books and spent at least two hours a day trying to get her children to learn how to read.

Sighing, Hermione rolled over in bed and looked at her clock. It was barely 4:30, but she knew that she had to start her day. She sat up, threw off the sheets and stretched. She rolled her neck and slipped her feet into her tall, fuzzy boots. She padded her way to the bathroom. Her eyes immediately found the slight wrinkles taking residence beside her eyes and lips. She knew that at the rate things were going now, her laugh lines would cease to grow and frown lines would begin to crater. She knew that she had to find something to give her a spark to continue, but right now she couldn't find it. With another sigh, she walked into the kitchen and started making tea and a small ham biscuit for breakfast. The clock displayed 4:45, giving her about an hour or so before Rose and Hugo woke up. When her tea was ready, she sat down on the sofa and opened the Daily Prophet. The headline displayed **TRANSFIGURATION TEACHER LEAVES HOGWARTS, AGAIN. **Hermione gave a slight chuckle. No one had been able to keep the post of Transfiguration teacher for more than three years since Professor McGonagall became Headmistress. Since the Headmistress had only taken a couple of apprentices years before she began teaching, all of whom were employed or dead, no one had been capable enough in the field to satisfy McGonagall. Oh, there were good teachers, of course, but McGonagall made it her second job to pop in and out of the Transfiguration room and observe the current Professor. Though McGonagall never spoke aloud in class, she would often raise her eyebrow at different things the Professor said, leaving no room for doubt that she disagreed with whatever had been said. Hermione had no doubt that the kind of pressure McGonagall put on the Transfiguration teacher was enough to make anyone quit. And once again, it had. Hermione wondered who it would be that McGonagall would finally be happy with, as she knew that McGonagall wouldn't (and truly couldn't) take any apprentices now that she was Headmistress. Her duties at Hogwarts were endless, and training someone just wouldn't be an option. Curious about the teacher who had left this time, Hermione laid the paper down and went to her bookshelf. From it she pulled her copy of _Hogwarts Through the Years: A List of The Minds Who Have Graced These Halls. _The book had been a gift from Harry for her wedding. Every new school year, the book renewed itself with information about new teachers and first year students, but the book never grew in size. The front of the book, like all books, contained a table of contents, and only that list grew. By simply speaking the year she desired to see, Hermione had access to the information about that particular school year. "2009 Faculty Photographs," she whispered, and the pages immediately flipped themselves and pictures and names arranged themselves on the empty page. Her eyes quickly scrolled to the post of Transfiguration teacher.

_Transfiguration_

_Professor Theressa Mariam Huxten _

_Trained at Hogwarts, graduated in 1972 _

_Worked in Ministry of Magic in Auror Department, 72-84_

_Worked in St. Mungo's Hospital as Consultant for Misuse of Transfiguration Spells, 84-92_

_Professor at Hogwarts from 2007-2009 _

_Level of Mastery Achieved in Transfiguration: Level One _

At that last line of information, Hermione knew exactly why the professor hadn't lasted very long at Hogwarts. McGonagall was a documented Level Four Master, although Hermione suspected she had achieved all the way up to the final level 6. Level One was truly a basic Mastery. It required knowledge of roughly twenty upper level spells and 40 hours of studying with at least a Level Two master. Hermione had easily gotten her Level One her last year at Hogwarts. McGonagall spent at least an hour a night working with Hermione, and by the fall after she graduated she took the exam at the Ministry and received her official papers stating her Level One Status. A Level Two was a bit more difficult, and it required not only being able to perform spells, but how to undo them without knowledge of the spell cast or the caster. Level Three required an Animagus (resistered); Level Four (where Minerva was registered) required the ability to use magic while in animagus form. The requirements for Levels Five and Six were classified, but Hermione wondered in McGonagall had achieved them. She placed the book back on the shelf and resumed her seat with the Prophet. Her fingers immediately sought page 3C, which held the "Golden Trio" update. Her body turned hot with anger when a picture showed Ron kissing a blonde, busty woman at a Quidditch match. It wasn't the kissing that bothered her. On the contrary, she thought any woman dumb enough to be wooed by Ron deserved a little bit of pity. No, what angered her was that the picture was taken last Saturday evening- Ron's weekend with the children. Her eyes scanned the bottom of the image, and sure enough, Rose's headband and the top of Hugo's unruly hair were barely visible in the bottom corner. "Damn you. Damn her. Damn this." She grabbed the paper and threw it in the fire. No wonder Rose had been relieved to be back home. Ron saw his children every other weekend, that was it. And even then he couldn't devote one evening to them. Hermione had spent the past 5 years looking after her children. She had given everything up to be a mother, and what did it get her? Alone in this damn apartment.

"Mama..." Hugo's small frame with a mass of red hair appeared at the doorway.

Hermione's heart instantly softened and despite the article, she felt herself smile.

"Good morning darling. Sleep well?" He nodded and made his way to his mom, scrambling on the sofa and into her arms.

"Mmmhm. I dream-ded bout rivers."

"A good dream then?"

"Yep. I swammed an' Rosie were there."

"Did she have fun, too?"

"I think so."

"Good. Go wash up and I'll make you breakfast."

"Cimanon p'ease."

"CiNNamon, dear."

Hugo grumbled, making Hermione smile as she made her way back to the kitchen. She bit into her slightly warm ham biscuit and drained her tea. Reaching into herrobe, she found her wand and made quick work of making Hugo his favorite cinnamon french toast. She glanced at the clock- 5:32. Earlier than he normally awoke, but not bad. He'd need a nap after lunch. Rose probably wouldn't be up till 6:30. Hugo walked back into the den and sat down on the floor and Hermione summoned his TV tray, a gift from Hermione's parents, and placed his breakfast before him.

"Tanks, Mama"

"You're welcome, sweetie."

Hermione sat back down on the couch and began flipping through her Witches Today magazine. Her mind drifted back to her days at Hogwarts, and how her life was everything she never intended it to be.

Minerva rolled her neck for what seemed the millionth time that morning. It was barely 5:30 and she had already been up and working for two hours. She knew that her pattern of work had to stop. Getting to bed well past midnight and sleeping for a mere two hours before she resumed her duties was going to wear her out. Not that she had much of an alternative. She knew that Filius Flitwick, her Deputy, could easily oversee many of her duties, but she didn't have the heart to load him with morework. Sighing, she reached for her cup of Black Pearl tea and continuing going over paperwork. Kingsley Shaklebolt, the current Minister of Magic, was requesting her to attend the International Wizarding Conference. "Idiot." She muttered to herself. Hadn't she told him for the past five years that the conference's new date was during the OWL and NEWT exams? _His thick head just couldn't process that bit of information, _she mused. She wandlessly moved Kingsley's letter to her fireplace and picked up her daily report on Hogwarts. Nothing new seemed amiss- a Ravenclaw had left the common room for 15 minutes at 3:00 this morning. Two ovens needed serious repairs in the kitchen. The bathroom on the second floor had a leak in the fourth sink. The window on the corridor to the Astronomy Tower was cracked. "Sadie," she called, summoning her house elf. A small crack cut the silence.

"Yes Mistress Minerva?"

"Please describe the ovens needing repairs."

The elf's ears sank.

"We's not asking Mistress for helps. We's can wait for next terms funds."

Minerva smiled. So like them to refuse help.

"I know you aren't asking, my dear, but that was not the request I made."

Quietly, Sadie replied, "The heating coils is not heating evenly. Some times it burns and others its leaves raw. Yesterday its caught somethings on fire and charred the inside, making thems not usable."

Minerva thought about it for a while.

"And how much would it cost to replace them?"

Sadie looked hard at her feet.

"1500 Galleons each, Mistress."

"They'll be new ones by the end of the week."

Minerva's Gringott's account was vast, and since she had been teaching, she really hadn't found anything to spend it on for herself, so using it for Hogwarts was an easy choice. Sadie smiled shyly. "Thank you, Mistress. You'se most kind." Minerva patted her shoulder. "You're welcome."

With a pop, Sadie was gone.

Minerva folded her report and moved to the next letter. It was another application for the Transfiguration post.

_Yuris Aven Harmont_

_Graduated Hogwarts 73_

_Worked with Ministry in Department of Law Enforcement _

_No mastery obtained in Transfiguration_

Without looking at anything else, she threw the application in the fire. She'd never hire someone without any level of mastery. She chuckled to herself. The last teacher, Theressa, had been kind, smart, and overall a precise teacher. But she had been far too lenient with her students. She would pass students who gave very mediocre performances and grade essays of fourth years on a first year scale. After nearly 85 percent of her students passed her class with Outstanding marks, Minerva knew that she couldn't permit her to continue. After she left, Minerva had taken over her classes, much to the student's chagrin. Secretly, she loved the periods in between new teachers, because in those short hours that she taught, she could forget all the duties of Headmistress and focus on the discipline that had captured her heart so many years ago. Would she ever be happy with anyone? Yes, her subconscious whispered. Minerva felt her heart skip a beat. She knew who she wanted there at Hogwarts, but she also knew that it wouldn't happen. Couldn't. She brushed aside the notion. Swallowing the rest of her tea, she stood up, her back protesting. She made her way to her bathroom. The bathroom and her bedroom were her two major luxuries at Hogwarts. Her bed was massive, about two feet wider than a king bed. Her comforter was made of silk and cotton, and was soft and plump- filled with the tiniest of down feathers. Her bathroom was equally enormous. Her shower had multiple heads that emitted different pressure and scents if she desired, but she kept hers the same- slightly scented with the Muggle perfume Chanel Mademoiselle. With a simple spell, Minerva could transform her shower into a bathtub bigger than the Prefect's. She often used it to swim laps and relax after a long day, but she hadn't had time for that in months. It was barely November, and since the Transfiguration post was now her responsibility, she knew that her life would be packed from sun up to sun down. She slipped off her bathrobe from her shoulders and took off her emerald silk night gown. Wandlessly she undid her long braid and started up her shower, the sweet floral scent already evident to her keen Animagus nose. She turned and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair, though still a thick black, was beginning to show a couple of grays. Her wrinkles around her eyes were more defined, and she could definitely see the frown lines taking hold. Her emerald eyes were bright, but they belied her true tiredness. She knew she needed to stop the occasional evening cigarette, but the hot air hitting her lungs and then being exhaled seemed to take her worries away with the swirling smoke. She would have never started if it hadn't been for Albus. Damn him for smoking a pipe and convincing her to try a cigarette on their chess evenings. She smiled to herself. The smell, though acrid, was comforting to her. And she really missed Albus. But she also knew she liked her healthy lungs too. Sighing, she stepped into her hot shower, the water cleansing her momentarily from the stress of her day. Her hair flattened and laid against her strong back. She tipped her head up into the water, and all thoughts of being the Headmistress evaporated with the hot steam.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Thank you to everyone for the reviews on the first night I posted! Thanks for the response- it means the world. Sorry for the paragraph length- I normally read these on my cellphone. Here's the next chapter, and I am finished with Chapters 3 & 4 and will upload quickly, depending on reviews to continue! Right now the story is shaping up to be about 14/15 chapters. Hope that sounds good to everyone!_

At a little after 6, Hermione heard the distinct sound of Ron's owl Aegis. Groaning, she moved from the couch to open the window.

Giving Aegis a bite of ham, she took the letter and sent him off.

She moved back to the sofa. Hugo had drifted back asleep again and was cuddling with his stuffed panda. Hermione broke the sloppy wax seal and began to read.

_Hermione,_

_The picture in today's prophet was staged._

_I was dared to kiss Angie, she wasn't there with me for the game._

_Because of this, you can't use it against me in our custody hearing because it was false._

_Why haven't you gotten a job? _

_How can you be a good mother if you can't afford food for the children?_

_I think I should have the kids for a week this month._

_I think you're overwhelmed._

_Ron_

Hermione knew she ought to be pissed at his pompous ass. Really, the nerve of him to accuse her of being a poor mother. And did he think she was so thick as to believe that poorly constructed lie about a dare? Instead of anger, she laughed. God, how had they ever gotten married? Easy- mutual love of Harry. Stupid. She should have seen this coming.

She was eons smarter than Ron. She had been the most brilliant witch of her age; she had dozens of job offers before she had gotten married. And now she was nothing more than a stay at home mom.

Not that being a mother wasn't a job, but she had aspired to master many different disciplines of magic- simply for the joy of learning them. But Ron had made it evident that she wasn't to be any more than what Molly Weasley had been.

And she had accepted it.

Part of her wanting a divorce was so she could find that spark again, but with the children not allowed to attend school, she remained stuck.

Hermione strode to the fireplace and dumped Ron's letter. She wasn't even going to validate it with a response. Besides, it was likely he'd drop by to make his case all over again. She felt two arms wrap around her leg and smelled Rose's lilac shampoo.

"Good morning, my Rose."

"Hi Mama. Why did you throw that into the fire?"

Hermione pondered her question.

"Because sometimes things don't need to be kept on paper."

"Like how we flush toilet paper?"

Hermione laughed at Rose's conclusion- and how true the parallel actually was. Ron's letter was shit to her.

"Yes, baby, like that."

Rose nodded in understanding.

"I'm not hungry now. Can I draw?"

"May I draw."

"May I draw?"

"Yes, you may. But try not to wake Hugo. He got up earlier than you."

Rose nodded and tip-toed over to her coloring table. Hermione walked back to the kitchen and started another pot of tea. She had a long day ahead.

By 8 Rose and Hugo were fully awake and ready to conquer the day. Hermione decided that it was a good day for the park. It was Tuesday, and most Muggle children would be in school, and Hermione didn't have to worry about witnesses to Rose and Hugo's accidental magic. As they began to button their coats, Hermione heard her Floo activate. She turned to see her best friend and former sister-in-law stride out.

"Hello family!" Ginny happily greeted, banishing the soot with a wave of her hand.

"Aunt Ginny!" "Aunt Inny!"

They cried simultaneously, running and full speed and delivering bone-breaking leg hugs. Hermione smiled and gently hugged Ginny's tall frame. "It's good to see you," she whispered. Hermione took a step back.

"We were just off to the park, care to join us?"

"Sure, I'm off of work today. Figured I'd spend it with you since Molly has taken my children."

Hermione smiled and opened the door.

"Hugo, hold Rose's hand. Don't separate."

Hermione held the door for the three of them and locked the door behind them. The park was only a couple blocks away, and Hermione allowed Rose and Hugo to walk a couple of paces ahead of herself and Ginny to allow them some time to talk.

Ginny dived right in.

"So what is your take on the Prophet picture? Ron has already written Mum swearing it was a prank."

Hermione smirked. "Yep, I got the same lame story too. He said it was a dare, so I couldn't use it against him in a custody hearing."

Ginny shook her head, "he's so thick. Of course you can use it. Just because it was a dare doesn't make it better. It just means he's a dolt of a dad who takes stupid dares in front of his children."

"That was my take on it, too. But I'm angrier about the fact that he isn't spending quality time with Rose and Hugo. Did you know Rose asked me if she didn't have to go with him last weekend? She's only 6, and already she doesn't want to be with him. I don't care if he wants to have random hook-ups, I just don't want it to happen when he has the kids."

By this point they had reached the park, and Rose and Hugo dashed onto the swings and Ginny and Hermione sat on the bench.

"I know my brother is an idiot. And I know he loves Rose and Hugo," at this Hermione began to protest but Ginny silenced her, "he loves them, but he loves the idea of them. Not the actual having to take care of them. He likes the idea of having a part of him live on, but he doesn't want the responsibility of them."

"He said that?"

"No, but I've lived with him for 16 years. I know how he is."

"Then why is he fighting me with a custody battle?"

"For the same reason he wanted you to stay at home. Hermione, you're brilliant. You are better than him in every single way. And that's not easy to be married to someone who, though unintentionally, constantly reminds him of how much less he is. If he can win custody, it's one thing over you. And if you keep on as a stay at home mom, he'll win that way too."

Hermione could feel the salty sting of tears on her eyes.

"I never meant for him to feel like that."

"I know. And he shouldn't be that way. He should be encouraging and loving, but that's not Ron, dear."

Hermione sighed. "No. It's not."

Ginny studied her best friend. This past year had really taken its toll. Hermione's mocha eyes were dull, and the spark that had always been there seemed all but extinguished.

"What am I to do?" Hermione quietly asked.

"That, my love, is all up to you."

How true that was, Hermione thought. How true indeed.

Minerva exited the shower and with a wave dried her body and hair. She walked over to her marble vanity and with another wave sent hairpins working away at her hair, fixing it into her signature bun.

Moving into her bedroom, she opened her wardrobe and pulled out her robe. Her robe was actually more intricate than she would have imagined herself liking. At the most bottom layer she wore a paper thin silk dress with long sleeves, then an inner robe made of thick Egyptian cotton, and her outer robe was normally her signature tartan, or some other solid pattern of emerald and purple. Today it was her deep emerald felt, one of her favorites for cooler winter days. The robes had seams that did themselves up invisibly when she ran her hand over them.

She would have never considered wearing something so detailed, and the 5000 Galleon price tag was certainly extravagant. But when she had tried them on at Madam Malkin's shop, she couldn't imagine not wearing them.

She looked at her jewelry cabinet and withdrew a broach and her pearl earrings, and lastly she donned her boots.

Sighing she walked over to her mirror.

Staring back was Headmistress Minerva McGonagall, the Scottish witch who had become an icon for the Wizarding world. Minerva wondered if she'd ever find anyone to look past her name's sake.

Throughout her life she had only had three truly close friends.

One had been Sydney Newman, a bubbly blonde witch that had been with Minerva all through her time at Hogwarts. Sydney was a Gryffindor with Minerva, but she enjoyed Care of Magical Creatures as much as Minerva liked Transfiguration. After they graduated, they had lived together in a small flat in Edinburgh- Minerva was studying with a Transfiguration Master, Sydney with a renowned Magical Creatures expert. When Minerva opted to move back to London, Sydney stayed Scotland for another year before traveling across Europe to study various packs of unicorns and hippogriffs. Sydney had died only five years ago from natural causes, but she had remained close to Minerva for her whole life.

The second was Grania Rose. She had died during the first war with Voldemort. Grania was the Transfiguration master that taught Minerva when she had moved to Edinburgh. Grania was bold and daring- absolutely fearless and completely in love with magic. Grania was brilliant in Transfiguration, but she had never found an apprentice worthy of her talents, though many had tried.

When Minerva interviewed with Grania that summer, she was blown away by not only the learned skill Minerva had, but her sheer natural ability to perform complex spells with graceful ease. Minerva had studied with her for ten years, achieving her Level Four status, the same as Grania. Secretly, though, both of them had worked all the way up to Level Six. But achieving that status was dangerous, and extremely so if it is publicized. Both witches agreed to not share this information with anyone, and Minerva's secret had died when Grania was killed by a Death Eater.

Her dearest friend, though, was Albus. She missed the days when she and Albus could sit for hours without any pretense- smoking, laughing, and playing chess without any worry of the other abusing their trust. Through the years they had become best friends, and he was the one person she trusted most of all, and he trusted her just as thoroughly.

Albus was the only wizard who could match her in wit, skill, and talent, and they both enjoyed practicing duels against each other. They'd spend hours on the North lawn or in the Room of Requirement dodging each other's spells. If one of them or both of them were having a particularly hard day, there would always be an open bottle of whiskey and ears ready to listen.

Countless nights she had spent beside Albus, crying from stress and grief.

Both of them had never married for similar reasons.

Dumbledore's lover had turned against him and killed his sister, and Minerva's had used the Cruciatus curse on her after every argument. Both Albus and Minerva had loved them until the bitter end, and both of them were the ones who had ended their lives. After their respective heartbreaks, they had found each other, and both clung to their friendship. Albus and Minerva agreed to make an effort every day to deal with their past and move on, and Minerva had worked on that promise.

Every day she lived after her lover's death, she took one step further from the abuse and another closer to healing.

Nearly thirty years later, she felt as if she was finally healed.

The broaches she wore were all gifts from Albus, and each day she wore them after his death, she imagined she could feel him closer to her. God, she missed him. And she wanted a cigarette.

With a final inspection, she banished her melancholy thoughts and walked downstairs. Moving to her desk, she located her gold rectangle glasses and tucked them in her robe. She grabbed her papers for the day and with a flick transported them to her desk in the Transfiguration room. She glanced at the clock- 5:50. With a small nod to Albus's portrait, she exited through the Gargoyle to begin her duties as Headmistress of the most famous Wizarding School in England.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Here's chapter three. I know it seems slow, but I promise things will pick up soon. Thank you infinitely for the support! One review mentioned the story Bonding by asouldreams. Yes, I have read it, along with the other stories by that author. I think that asouldreams' characterizations are perfect, and I am sure some of that has crossed over into mine. However, I am trying to make a conscious effort to make facts about their past and even their present original. I am also trying to be distinct with my writing style, as long introductory and adverbial phrases are my favorite. _

_With that being said, enjoy the show! _

After returning from the park, Hermione fixed everyone chicken sandwiches for lunch. After Rose and Hugo finished eating, their eyes began to droop and their words were punctuated by yawns. She sent them to bed for their nap, leaving her and Ginny by themselves again.

"So do you think you are going to work again?"

Hermione sighed. She had so many things to consider. Sure, she wanted to, but she had two children that needed looking after- and she wasn't going to rely on Ron or his parents.

"I want to. Really. But, I have to teach Rose and Hugo... It's more complicated than what I want."

"Or maybe start studying under a master."

"I'm thirty three. I have two kids. Name one master who would want me."

"McGonagall."

Hermione's heart gave a flutter at her name. Ginny knew McGonagall and Hermione had been close during their years at Hogwarts, but even she didn't know the depth of Hermione's admiration and respect for the Scottish witch.

Hermione shook her head, hoping Ginny hadn't noticed her momentary lack of breath.

"Not possible. She's Headmistress. Be realistic."

Ginny sighed. "Aberforth is an Arthrimancy master."

"Ugh, when I start back I really don't want to start with equations."

Ginny laughed, "Too true. Hmmm. God, I really don't know."

"Exactly."

The clock chimed four o'clock. Ginny stretched and stood up. "Well, I ought to be off. I'm sure Mum is going to want a quiet dinner."

Hermione hugged her. "Thanks for coming."

Ginny shrugged, "Always. And Hermione- you still have it, you know? I know you've had a really shitty few years. But you can do anything you want. You _are_ the most brilliant witch of the age."

Hermione smiled and hugged her again. "Thank you."

With a parting smile, Ginny threw the powder into the fire and disappeared.

Hermione turned and made her way to the kitchen to make herself a cup of coffee. The kids would be up soon, and it would be time for their daily lesson in reading. She had barely heated the water when she heard her Floo activate again.

"Forget something?"

"Yeah, how much I hate this apartment."

Instead of Ginny's sweet voice, Ron's gruff noise hit Hermione's ears.

Fighting her urge to whip around and scream at him to get out, she remained facing away from him, concentrating intently on stirring her coffee.

"Oh, that's why you're here. To criticize my apartment. Congratulations. Job well done. So you're leaving now?"

"Don't give me that. You know damn well why I'm here."

Still facing away she sighed and straightened up. "Are you here to say that I'm a bad parent? That I'm desperately poor and struggling? That you never meant to kiss that dumb bimbo? That you are going to win our custody battle? Spare me. I'm through with you."

Ron paced forward and whipped Hermione around to face him.

"You ARE desperate and struggling. Look at you. When's the last time you left this shack?"

Hermione felt her face flush hot with anger. With a quick flick of her wrist, she cast a silencing charm around them.

"YOU! YOU are the one who has pushed me down and kept me here! I wanted to learn! To be great! But you couldn't handle it! You wanted me home- just like Molly! And like a daft fool I didn't fight back. But I am through with you Ron! I am through with you trying to control my life because you're ashamed of your own!"

Ron's face turned into a mask of anger. "ME? I've done nothing but be a good husband to you and a father to Rose and Hugo! I gave you food, clothes, hell- ANYTHING you asked for!"

"You didn't give me a life! Free will! LOVE! Your definition of love was screwing me when YOU felt like it! Did you EVER sit up at night and listen to what I wanted? Did you ever take into account the things I wanted out of my life? Do you know my favorite book? My favorite food? Do you even know your children's favorite food?"

"Hermione…"

"Did you know that Rose dreaded going to you last weekend? She's SIX Ronald! Six! A six year old should be focusing on her budding magic, the world around her, coloring in her coloring book! But instead she worries about the next time she has to be with you, because she's ignored! All you have to do is love them and pay attention and ACT like you give a damn for ONE WEEKEND! And you can't even do that!"

"Rose loves me."

"But you don't love her."

"That's not the point!"

"Then what is? If our kids aren't the point then what ever is?"

"YOU! You think I've ruined this family but YOU are the one who bloody walked out! Nothing had to change!"

"Everything had to change! God, Ron, I died a little every day I was with you! When is the last time you saw me read a book? Or master a new spell? God- when was the last time you saw me laugh!"

"You laughed all the time!"

"God- you're so thick!"

"Why do you always say that? You always acted so high and mighty when we were together. Like you weren't worth me. What the hell is wrong with you? I am worth something!"

"Not when you treat me like shit and ignore your own children! You aren't anything! God GROW UP. Grow up and realize that I am not coming back and you are LOSING your family! Why do you think Molly writes you letters all the time asking you to come over with the children? She KNOWS you don't spend time with them. You just dump them at her house and leave!"

"And what you do is better? Locking them up in this bloody apartment and making them read their books over and over again?"

"What do you WANT me to do? You won't let them learn anywhere else!"

"How can you even afford it? You don't even have a bloody job!"

"Yes I do!"

"Where?"

"I'm going to take the Transfiguration post at Hogwarts!"

The words were out of her mouth before she could even stop them. She felt the breath leave her lungs and her heart began pounding in her head. But immediately she felt like for once in her life, she had finally said something right.

"You're doing what?"

"I'm going to teach at Hogwarts. Just like McGonagall asked me the night before our wedding."

Minerva walked into the Great Hall and was greeted with the pleasant morning sounds of clinking silverware and muffled chatter. She felt the staff table's eyes follow her to her seat in the middle. She sat down and calmly poured herself some coffee and began buttering her wheat toast.

"Good morning, Minerva." Filius smiled up at his colleague. He noticed that, while still stunning, she looked more tired than usual, as if her mind was disconnected with her body.

"And to you. I take it you are doing well?"

"Indeed. And you? Are you even sleeping at night? You seem to get everything done in the blink of an eye."

Minerva chuckled, "Yes, I slept."

"For how long?"

"Enough."

"Minerva…"

"Filius, if I wanted a lecture on my sleeping habits, I assure you I would go to Poppy. However, I am sitting at the table with my colleagues, and therefore this topic is not up for discussion. I am doing my job same as always. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Surely there is more, though. You are teaching Transfiguration again."

"A job that I had for over 30 years before I took the post of Headmistress, and one that I assure you I am still capable of teaching."

"Capable, sure, but…"

"Filius," she placed her hand on his. "Let it go."

With a sad smile, he resumed his breakfast and Minerva turned her attention back to the students. The Gryffindors were in short supply this morning. Not surprising. They had won the Quidditch match last night, and she had no doubt they were all up partying in the common room that night. The Ravenclaws, on the other hand, looked sullen, as they had been defeated again and were definitely out of the running for the Cup.

"Minerva," Pomona Sprout appeared at her side.

"Yes? And good morning."

"Morning. There has been a slight problem with greenhouse 4."

Minerva frowned. There had been nothing in her morning report about something going amiss.

"What is it? When did it happen?"

"Just moments ago." Well that explained it. "We had the sample of Devil's Snare in the back corner. As you know, it can't go near any other life without crushing it. Well, apparently some mandrakes wiggled out of their pots enough to get close to it. We lost three of them."

Minerva sighed. Mandrakes were expensive, and she knew that they took up nearly half of the Herbology funds. And it was only November. With three dead, they only had 12 to work with for the rest of the year. Out of that twelve, maybe 8 or 9 would be fully grown. And 8 grown mandrakes wouldn't cut it for the seventh years.

"I'll take care of it Pomona. You'll have new ones by the end of the month."

What else was she to do? Buying ovens and mandrakes. Thrilling.

"Thank you Minerva. Truly. I wouldn't have asked if…"

"Don't mention it."

With a smile, Minerva glanced at the clock. She had about an hour before classes started. She pushed herself away from the table and stood up.

"Have a good morning, staff. I won't be here for lunch, but I will be attending dinner."

She exited the staff side entrance and made her way to the Transfiguration room. It was bare and cold. Obviously Theressa hadn't hesitated to remove her effects. With a flick of her wand, her old desk appeared in its usual front and center spot. With another wave her personal items appeared on top of the desk, and her papers stacked themselves neatly in their appropriate places. She paused, did she want her chair in here again? Yes, she didn't want to stand for four hours. With a sweeping arc her emerald leather and mahogany chair appeared behind her desk.

Turning to the chalkboard, she put up the charts and diagrams for the day. Her first years would be turning feathers into paper, the fourth years would turn chairs into insects, and the sixth years would be turning water into a metal. All before lunch.

Hearing the school clock chime for the start of classes, Minerva smiled and resumed her usual spot standing sternly in front of her desk.

Her mind drifted back to that morning so many years ago when Hermione had burst through the door the second the clock resounded, taking her permanent seat in the desk at the front of the classroom.

The desk closest to Minerva.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for their encouragement and reviews. I have been uploading these pretty quickly, but as new things are happening in my life, they might not be as frequent, but I promise you will have more than one a week. And I also promise to finish it __ Again, all mistakes are mine. _

Hermione took a deep breath. It was 9:30, and Rose and Hugo were tucked into bed. Hermione couldn't stop replaying the argument in the head with Ron. What on earth had possessed her to declare that she would teach at Hogwarts?

What if she didn't get the job?

What if McGonagall didn't want her for the job?

Hermione remembered the night before her wedding when McGonagall had originally asked her. She, Ginny, and Luna had taken a Girl's Night Out at Hog's Head and McGonagall had walked in around midnight after the girls had been drinking for and hour easily.

"_Hermione, I do believe congratulation is in order."_

"_Thank you, Professor."_

"_I must admit, I never picked you two as a likely couple, but you both seem to be happy."_

_Hermione blushed and smiled. "I am happy."_

_McGonagall smiled, "I'm glad. Are you working anywhere?"_

_Hermione could barely hear Minerva over the loud chatter and music of the pub. _

"_Let's go outside?"_

_McGonagall __nodded and they both exited into the crisp March night. Hermione wrapped her arms around herself to keep warm. The cold air hit her lungs. Her mind fuzzed a bit, and she tried to recall just how many shots of firewhiskey she had actually downed. _

_She hadn't noticed McGonagall ever wearing anything but her robes, but tonight she looked different. Her dress was silk and lace, and cut very deep and low. Her collarbones were delicately prominent, and her neck was adorned in an emerald necklace that perfectly matched her eyes. _

_Hermione swallowed hard. She was beautiful. _

"_I was asking if you were going to work anywhere."_

_Hermione blushed all over again and wondered if McGonagall had caught her eyes lingering on her._

"_Erm. No. Offers here and there, but nothing I truly want to take. I want to be an apprentice, I think, but I don't know what subjects. I rather like them all."_

_McGonagall placed her hands on Hermione's arms. "Come to Hogwarts. Work for me. Hermione, I can't imagine walking the halls without you. You were such a spark of energy, full of passion for learning."_

_Hermione was stunned. "I… uh… I don't…"_

"_You could teach Transfiguration. You already have your first level. You could be my apprentice. With you in the castle it wouldn't be hard. You are the best person for this job." _

_Hermione couldn't focus… Was it the alcohol or the closeness of those emerald eyes? _

"_I… I can't…" _

"_But why Hermione?"_

"_I'm done with Hogwarts. Done with everything there… God, I gave it everything. I want something more, something better." _

_McGonagall's face fell and she took a step backwards. Her arms crossed her thin frame and her emerald eyes went cold and dark. The beautiful woman that Hermione had just seen was gone, and before her stood the iconic Headmistress of Hogwarts. _

"_I see."_

"_Professor, I…"_

_But McGonagall had turned to go, and Hermione had a feeling she wouldn't ever come back. _

That night had burned itself into Hermione's mind. What if she had listened to McGonagall? What if she had gone to Hogwarts and achieved her Level Two? Would she have her Animagus? Would she have stayed married to Ron? God, those emerald eyes.

Would she have been happy?

She was married at 26. For the years after Hogwarts, she had spent her time giving her statements to various departments in the Ministry of Magic and traveling abroad with Ron. Their relationship during these years was the best. Ron was everything she needed, and they tried to move far away from Voldemort and Harry. Oh sure, they loved Harry, but living as "Harry Potter's Best Friends" had taken a toll.

She remembered how her stomach had plummeted that morning at the wedding. Of course McGonagall had been invited to the wedding, but when Hermione looked out the window, the Headmistresses seat remained empty.

After the wedding, her life instantly changed. She became pregnant with Rose on their honeymoon. And after Rose was born, it was Hugo three years later. She hadn't taken a job anywhere.

Sitting down at her desk, she put her past in the back of her mind. She was done regretting. It was time to find that spark again.

Pulling out her favorite Phoenix feather pen, she began her letter.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_I know it's been a long time…_

Minerva slowly climbed the Gargoyle to her room.

Clearly Theressa had only covered the theory of transfiguring elements. Upon their first attempt to transfigure the water-one student managed to scorch the stone floor, another managed to create a miniature tidal wave, and another turned the water into some form of sulfuric acid. The cleanup had taken her all afternoon, and luckily today she only had morning classes. She had barely made it to dinner and she nibbled here and there to avoid Filius's questions about her health.

She knew her Deputy meant well, but damn he could be persistent.

Minerva walked into her office and heard the Gargoyle slide into place. She threw off her hat and plopped down on her office sofa. She took off her outer robe and boots and banished them to her private rooms. Glancing down at the coffee table, she saw a rather large stack of paper greeting her gaze.

"Sadie,"

Pop. "Yes, Mistress?"

"Could you please bring me a cup of tea?"

Yes. Anything else?"

"No, that's all."

She picked up the first letter in the stack. It was from St. Mungos, requesting her presence at a dinner for its Backers. Her tea silently appeared on the coffee table. Signing her name on the YES line, she moved on.

The next one was from Gringotts. It contained her monthly account balance.

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Account A: 1,230,458 Galleons_

_Account B: 567,235 Galleons_

_Total: 1,797,693_

_Projected Gain for the Month of December: 70,000 Galleons; of which 40 percent is to be returned to Hogwarts_

Minerva had always been extremely private about her wealth, and she made a conscious effort to distribute her money to various causes without keeping much of her Hogwarts salary to herself. After her parent's death, she was left with a wealthy sum, and since then she had been careful to use only enough to get by. It wasn't until after Voldemort's first war that she decided that life was too short to hold on forever- hence her new taste in robes.

Her third letter, however, took the wind out of her lungs. The curvy, precise handwriting... She knew it anywhere.

Hermione.

She closed her eyes and took a breath. With shaking hands, she broke the wax and began reading.

_Dear Professor McGonagall,_

_I know it's been a long time..._

_How are you? I know I have been absent these past few years, and I am truly sorry. I can't tell you how often I replay that night in my head..._

Minerva felt her heart flutter. Screw her lungs, she had to smoke. She quickly stood up and went to her desk, yanking open her bottom right drawer and pulling out her box of cigarettes. Lighting one, she took a slow, calming drag and resumed her seat on the sofa. Pulling the ashtray to her, she continued to read.

_... I have wished night after night that I could go back and take your offer. These past few years have been so empty and so meaningless. If it weren't for my children, I don't think I could have made it through._

_I hope my actions have not permanently fractured our relationship. If the offer is still open, I would like to take the post of Transfiguration professor at Hogwarts._

_With love,_

_Hermione_

Minerva took another drag.

She remembered that night too.

_Minerva felt a surge of emotion. She held Hermione's arms, hoping to convey an ounce of how much she needed Hermione there with her._

"_Come to Hogwarts. Work for me. Hermione, I can't imagine walking the halls without you. You were such a spark of energy, full of passion for learning."_

_Hermione was stunned. "I… uh… I don't…"_

"_You could teach Transfiguration. You already have your first level. You could be my apprentice. With you in the castle it wouldn't be hard. You are the best person for this job."_

_Hermione's eyes looked glassy and out of focus. Minerva wondered if catching her here was such a good idea._

"_I… I can't…"_

"_But why Hermione?"_

"_I'm done with __Hogwarts! Done with everything there… God, I gave it everything. I want something more, something better!"_

___Minerva withdrew her arms and felt her stomach plummet. She felt sick. God, she would have felt better if Hermione had just punched her in the gut. Something better? Was Minerva not good enough? Is that how Hermione really felt about her? Someone to throw away when she got the chance?___

_"I see."___

_Without a glance back, she took off for the castle, hot tears running down her cheeks. __  
><em> 

Another drag. Minerva hadn't even gone to the wedding.

How could she?

When Hermione was in school, she had become... Well, was it a friend? Hermione's presence in her class and at dinners seemed to sooth Minerva's very core. She could feel her body relax just by seeing her or hearing her voice. She had spent hours upon hours with Hermione in the evening working on spells that Minerva had learned so many years ago with Grania. Minerva remembered how Hermione's endlessly brown eyes had sparkled when she conquered a new spell. 

And Minerva never wanted that moment to end.

But when Hermione had thrown away her offer and married Ron, Minerva knew she couldn't hold on to the hope that Hermione would come back.

But now? With this letter? How was she to react?

Her whole body and heart screamed for her to apparate straight to Hermione, throw her arms around her, and tell her that she was the only person she ever wanted.

Her mind, however, harshly told her no. 

Drag.

Minerva simply couldn't allow herself to hope. She had been hurt too many times to let someone in just to find out that they could never looked past her exterior.

And truly, had Hermione ever seen her as anything but Professor McGonagall, Transfiguration Master and Headmistress of Hogwarts?

She was perfect at being alone.

Stubbing out her cigarette, she picked up her pen.

_Dear Miss Granger,___

_If you would like to apply for the post of Transfiguration Professor at Hogwarts, please fill out the attached application and bring it to your interview tomorrow morning at 11:30 in my office. __  
><em>_The Gargoyle password is "Marlboro Gold".___

_Sincerely,__  
><em>_Minerva McGonagall__  
><em>_Headmistress of Hogwarts_

Hands shaking, she attached the form, sealed the wax, and stamped her signature double M.

Tomorrow was a new day.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Thank you to everyone who has stuck with this story and reviewed it faithfully! This story would not be possible without you!_

_And thanks to all the new people who continue to like the story! Y'all are amazing, too!_

_Like I said, life is getting kind of hectic, so if updates are a couple of days apart, don't kill me! (:_

_This is a longer chapter than I normally write, but I wanted to go ahead and get this morning over with. So tuck in and get cozy!_

_I hope everyone enjoys!_

Hermione awoke to a rustling outside her window. She glanced at the clock- 4:47.

Sitting up, she groaned and looked around her. She had obviously fallen asleep on the couch- again. Damn, her back just couldn't take another night on this blessed thing.

Slowly she made her way to the window. A black and brown owl that she had never seen before sat waiting patiently outside. Grabbing a treat off the mantle, she handed it to the small bird and took the letter.

Instantly, she felt wide awake, and her heart hammered in her chest.

Double M.

Minerva McGonagall.

_Dear Miss Granger,_

_If you would like to apply for the post of Transfiguration Professor at _

_Hogwarts, please fill out the attached application and bring it to your interview tomorrow morning at 11:30 in my office. _

_The Gargoyle password is "Marlboro Gold"._

_Sincerely,_

_Minerva McGonagall_

_Headmistress of Hogwarts_

Not daring to breathe, she reread the letter.

She checked when it was sent. Last night. So that meant an interview today.

She read it again.

Nothing.

McGonagall gave her no clue as to how she felt. The letter was concise, proper- and rather cold.

Hermione didn't know what to expect. Well, she knew that McGonagall wouldn't come running to her with open arms. That just wasn't her.

But she had expected something... Well... Friendlier.

Although, mused Hermione, I did a right fine job of screwing up our relationship, didn't I?

But McGonagall hadn't flat out turned her down.

A small start, but a start nonetheless.

Marlboro Gold.

Wasn't that a muggle cigarette brand? Weird.

She reached behind the letter and pulled out the application.

Name: Hermione

She paused. Her name hadn't reverted back, even though she had filed paperwork.

Screw it.

_Name: Hermione Jean Granger_

_Age: 32_

_School: Hogwarts _

_Field: Transfiguration_

_Level of Mastery: One_

_Master Studied Under: Minerva McGonagall_

_Previous Work Experience: _

Previous work. Well, Hermione hadn't worked. Ever.

_Previous Work Experience: N/A_

_Wizarding Identification Number: 3HG6e75k_

After the second war with Voldemort, the Ministry had started a record vault for all witches and wizards. It worked like the trace, and it tracked wand type, magic core levels, Gringott's Account activity, and Floo activity. The whole operation is run by the Department of Mysteries, and there hadn't been any problems.

Hermione folded the letter and placed it in her robe pocket.

The clock said 5:14.

She made her way to her shower and turned the water on as hot as she could stand it.

Stripping her clothes, she got in and let the steam roll over her body.

She tried to imagine what she'd say to McGonagall. What could she say?

How could she begin to tell McGonagall how much she needed her?

Xxx

Minerva rolled over and wandlessly lit a few candles in her room.

The clock showed 3:24.

She knew she needed to sleep longer. Turning back over, she tried to get her mind to rest for a few more minutes.

Hermione.

She sat bolt upright in bed.

Today was her interview day.

"Shit." Minerva rubbed her eyes and rolled her neck.

Of all the things she didn't want to do today, that was at the top of the list.

Not that she didn't want to see Hermione. Those endless brown eyes had filled her memories for years. That tinkling, gentle laughter had replayed over and over in her mind. That soft smell of vanilla and peppermint.

But she also knew that Hermione hadn't chosen Hogwarts. Rather, Hermione hadn't chosen Minerva.

Or was Minerva reading too far into the whole thing? Maybe it wasn't personal at all. Heaven knows, Hermione had given Hogwarts and Harry everything.

_"I want something better." _

Better. That was what hurt.

Hermione had spent hours working on her first level. When their nights lasted longer than expected, Hermione would sit in Minerva's outer office, share a pot of tea and talk forever. When both of them could barely stay awake, Hermione would leave through the back professor's passageway back to the Gryffindor common room.

Those nights were Minerva's favorite. But Hermione had wanted something better.

Apparently that wasn't good enough.

Minerva got out of bed and walked to her bathroom. Starting the shower, she walked over to her vanity. Opening it, she withdrew her pack of Marlboro's.

Albus would die all over if he saw her smoking first thing in the morning.

He'd probably look stunned then laugh until he passed out.

Lighting one, she grabbed an ashtray and sat down on the small pouffe.

Drag.

Smoking before breakfast.

Minerva really had to get a grip on herself.

Halfway through, she stubbed it out.

Climbing into the shower, she weakly attempted to scrub herself free of the smell of tobacco.

It was barely four o'clock. She had 7 hours until Hermione came.

That was another pack of Marlboro's, easily.

Xxxx

Moving into the kitchen, Hermione began making the children's breakfast.

The clock said 5:57. They wouldn't stay asleep much longer.

Sipping her coffee, she sprinkled cinnamon, or as Hugo says, cimanon, on the toast. With a flick of her wand, the knife began slicing various fruits for

Rose's breakfast.

When everything was done, she placed a cooling charm on the fruit and a warming charm on the toast.

Sitting down in her chair, she picked up today's Prophet.

**KRUM BUYS BULGARIA'S QUIDDITCH TEAM. **

Viktor. Stupid, loving Viktor. He was Hermione's first crush, but it was as fleeting as a spring breeze. He seemed to be doing well, Hermione mused.

Flipping to page 3C, her eyes immediately sought the Golden Trio update.

To her amazement- nothing new was printed. It restated the basic info about the divorce, but other than that, there wasn't anything new. Odd.

Hearing little footsteps, Hermione looked up at the door.

Hugo and Rose stood together, both very groggy and messy.

"Mama," Rose spoke first. "We hungry."

Hugo nodded weakly, his messy hair bobbing as he did.

"Yea, Mommy. Pwease food."

Smiling, Hermione opened her arms.

"As long as I get a morning hug first."

Hugo and Rose shuffled forward and clambered into Hermione's arms. They snuggled

in close and wrapped their arms around their mother.

"I has 'nuther dream." Hugo stated.

"Oh? Do tell."

"Mommy, you were at that castle you is always talkings about. Um... Higwerts."

"Hogwarts dear," Hermione chuckled.

"Mmhm. Dat one. And you was smiling and happy again."

Rose nodded. "I dreamed about Hogwarts, too."

"Oh, did you now?" Hermione raised her eyebrow.

"I did. And there was a cat there. Gray and black. It had little squares around

the eyes. And the eyes were green. Did you know a cat like that?"

Hermione tried to keep her face neutral. Of course she knew that cat. She'd

recognize that Animagus anywhere.

"Maybe. Why do you ask?"

"The cat said she needed you."

Hermione sat up and disentangled herself from her children. She walked to the

kitchen and retrieved their plates.

"Cats don't talk, Rose."

"I know Mama, but this one was different. She said you needed her too."

Xxxx

Minerva put on her inner silk dress and made her way down to her office.

Hearing a small pop, she glanced at the Gargoyle.

"Sadie. Good morning."

"Good mornings to yous too, Mistress."

"My report?"

"Heres. Coffee or tea?"

"Tea, please."

With a nod, Sadie popped out of sight. Minerva sat on her couch and read her report. Nothing seemed amiss. The same Ravenclaw had left the tower, again.

Minerva made a mental note to ask about that.

The potion's stores were running low on Egyptian beetles.

The defense against the dark art's room needed minor repairs to the ceiling from a boggart incident.

Setting her report down, she glanced at her agenda for today.

Breakfast in Great Hall, class with third and sixth years from 8:30-11:00.

11:30- Hermione's interview.

Sadie appeared with the tea.

"Thank you, Sadie."

"Anything else?"

Minerva thought for a moment. Her rational side told her no. Everything else said yes.

"Please bring me another box of Marlboro's."

Sadie nodded and disappeared.

Maybe that's why Minerva liked Sadie so much. When Filius had discovered Minerva's new habit, he'd flipped out. He'd lectured Minerva for at least half an hour. He knew she and Albus would smoke over chess, but now she would smoke during her after dinner strolls.

When Sadie found out, she kept mute. Minerva's life, Minerva's choice.

Lighting her second cigarette of the day, Minerva began writing her lesson plan for the day.

Third years: Transfiguring Aluminum to Copper. Base metal to base metal. Easy enough.

Minerva scribbled some basic notes- double arc and flick to the right.

Sixth years: Transfiguring chairs into rats.

That would be interesting.

Drag.

Her mind drifted to Hermione. She had always strode into class and confidently mastered every new skill Minerva could teach her. She would sit smiling up at Minerva, eyes shining with passion for knowledge.

Her eyes outside of Hog's Head.

Drag.

Shaking the thought from her head, she moved her lesson plan wandlessly to her classroom.

She glanced at the clock. 5:07.

6 hours.

With another drag, she shook her head and buried herself in paperwork, her pen scratching furiously- as if trying to scratch Hermione out of her mind.

Around 6:45, and other two cigarettes later, she heard a shuffling she distinctly knew as Albus moving into his picture frame.

"Well, look who decided to finally return to his portrait."

"Look who picked up my habit in all hours of the morning."

Minerva raised her eyebrow. "Don't start with me. You don't even know what's been going on. Why haven't you been in this frame?"

"Minerva, have you ever been at Gringott's during the day? It's fascinating! All these people you never get to see strolling in and out… I've seen people I haven't seen in decades! And then, at night, the goblins work… and their magic is astounding to watch!"

Minerva took another drag. "As amazing as that sounds, Albus, I am Headmistress. And if you had some sort of memory, you would know that my duties are endless."

Albus chuckled, "I know, I know. But you do work too hard."

Minerva pointed a finger at him, "Don't you start, too. I get an earful from everyone else and I don't need it from a picture!"

Albus laughed, "Oh, Minerva. Always the same."

"That's me."

"But there is something different about you, dear."

Minerva looked up from her paper. "What?"

"There's something different…"

"No, I got that. What's different?"

"Your eyes, my dear. They haven't had that spark since… well, since you were first with Miranda."

Minerva gave him a sharp look. "Albus…"

"I know- we don't speak about them. But your eyes are the clearest emerald. Who is it that has captured your heart in this short about of time?"

Minerva quickly looked back down and continued her scribbling. Drag. "No one."

"Liar."

"No one."

"Minerva…"

"I'm not telling you."

"Minervaaaaaaa…."

Exasperated, Minerva snapped her head up, "Albus! I'm not telling you because it's impossible! And I am not some blushing school girl! I will not entertain foolish notions that could cause more harm than good, and that's that."

Albus peered at his friend. "It's her, isn't it?"

Minerva looked back down, "I don't know whom you are referring to."

"Hermione."

Minerva's heart skipped.

Albus smiled, "I'm right, as usual."

Minerva lifted her head back up and gave Albus her classic look of disapproval. "Some things never change, do they?"

"No, my dear, they don't."

Chuckling, Minerva looked at the clock. 7:00.

"As much as I love basking in your glory, Albus, I must leave for breakfast."

"Duty calls, my Minerva."

Smiling and stubbing out her cigarette, Minerva moved back to her room. Glancing at her wardrobe, she selected her favorite emerald and purple silk and damask robe.

Moving to her bathroom, she flicked her hand and the hairpins went to work putting her hair into its bun.

Exiting her private chambers, she flicked her wrist again and extinguished all the lights.

In her office, she grabbed her glasses and slipped them inside her robe.

The Gargoyle shifted to allow her access down to the halls.

Striding with purpose, she quickly traversed the hallways to get to the great hall.

"Good morning headmistress," a brunette Gryffindor called. Minerva recognized her immediately- she was the star Quidditch keeper.

"Morning, Angelique."

Arriving at the teacher's entrance, she took a deep breath and entered. She could feel the students' and teachers' eyes follow her to the center chair.

Sitting down, she poured herself a coffee and a piece of sausage and a biscuit.

Filius, sharp as ever, leaned in. "You can't mask that smell from me, Minerva."

Rolling her eyes, Minerva peered down at her Deputy, "What smell, Filius? Be more specific."

Sighing, he said, "Cigarettes. You're smoking in the morning now?"

Minerva turned away and continued cutting her sausage. "Perhaps."

"Minerva!..."

"Now, Filius, I do not need a lecture. Don't start. It's my lungs."

He looked as if he was about to say something, but decided not to.

Rolanda Hooch was sitting to Minerva's left. Leaning in, she whispered quietly into Minerva's ear, "Good for you, Minerva. Now you see why I love it so much."

Chuckling, Minerva leaned in. "Oh, yes, I definitely do."

Rolanda and Minerva had never been really good friends, but she was the one person Minerva could count on to never question her or judge her. And that was rare.

Filius turned back to Minerva. "Are you sure you are up to teaching? If you're that stressed…"

"Filius! I swear to God, you're acting like my father. If you think that I cannot do my job, I suggest you write a complaint to the Board of Governors or to the Ministry of Magic."

"Minerva, you know I didn't mean…"

"Then don't." She softened. He was trying to be a good friend. "Filius, you know I adore you. But I am fine. I promise. Some people bite their nails or pace back and forth endlessly. I smoke."

Filius smiled at Minerva. She was so strong, so steady.

"Be careful."

"I will, I promise."

Xxxx

Hermione glanced anxiously at the clock. 11:10. God, would it kill Rose and Hugo hurry for once in their life?

"ROSE! HUGO! LET'S GO! NOW!"

Hugo ran in, nearly tripping over himself. "I hadda find panda mommy!"

Rose bolted in after him, "I had to get my coloring book!"

"In the fireplace, now."

They all squished in and Hermione dropped the Floo Powder. "The Potters."

Instantly she felt her world shift and they arrived at Harry and Ginny's house. Banishing the soot, they stepped out.

"Hey family!" Ginny greeted. Rose and Hugo rushed forward to hug their aunt.

"Ginny, I'm sorry but I have to go or else I'll be late."

"It's fine, dear. Go."

Hermione smiled and apparated to the front of Hogwarts.

She felt the familiar tingle and pull behind her stomach, and in an instant she was staring at the castle that had raised her.

She felt like she couldn't breathe.

Xxx

Minerva rounded the staircase up to her office, the Gargoyle moving faster than normal to keep up with the Headmistress' pace.

Minerva sat down heavily at her desk and instantly took out her Marlboro's. Lighting one and inhaling deeply, she glanced at the clock. 11:23. Seven minutes.

Drag.

God, she'd do anything to avoid this. What would Hermione say? What would she say? Would Hermione be the same as she'd been when she was a student here? Was there anything left of their friendship?

Drag.

Sadie popped in. "Mistress, yous said to alerts you if anyones comes to the castle. A young woman just appeared at the front gate."

Drag. "Thank you, Sadie."

She nodded. "Will yous be needed another box for tonight?"

Minerva thought about it. "Yes."

With a pop, Sadie was gone.

Drag.

Albus appeared in his frame.

"Don't even start, Albus," Minerva warned.

"I'm just saying, go easy on her. She's been though a lot."

"And I haven't?"

"That isn't what I said. Just don't forget to breathe, Minerva."

"I won't."

Minerva smiled at her dearest friend. Albus winked and retreated from his frame. The distinct noise of the Gargoyle beginning to shift reached Minerva's ears.

She felt sick.

Stubbing out her cigarette, she flicked her wrist and banished the smoke from the air.

Rising from her chair, she moved to stand in the front- the venerable Headmistress.

She heard the door shift, and Hermione walked into the office.

"Good Morning, Miss Granger."

Xxxx

Hermione could barely breathe. There she was, Professor McGonagall. Her favorite professor. Her trusted mentor.

She felt her cheeks grow hot. Her words just wouldn't formulate.

"And how are you?" McGonagall's Scottish accent breaking through Hermione's mind.

"Oh. I'm, uh, good, fine. And you?"

"Peachy. Please, have a seat. Would you like some tea?"

"Fine."

McGonagall wrote a quick note and banished it to the kitchen.

Hermione looked around the office. Nothing had really changed, except there were a few more books and trinkets here and there.

She noticed a faint smell… not entirely unpleasant, but different… one she hadn't associated with McGonagall before….

"Hermione, I don't know exactly what it is you are looking for. Though I know the Prophet often reports falsely and with scandalous intent, I gather that you are going through an unpleasant divorce. If you are looking at Hogwarts as a safe haven from your troubles with Ron, you might want to think again."

Hermione was stunned. Obviously her face belied that.

"However," McGonagall continued, "If you are hoping to further your knowledge in the field of Transfiguration and you have a true passion for instilling knowledge into young minds, then I am most grateful that you applied for this post."

Hermione cleared her throat. "Headmistress, I know that my qualifications are… lacking… but I know in my heart that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I have been miserable these past years, and I can't stop thinking about what my life could have been if I had listened… If I had stayed with you."

Hermione looked up. Something flashed in the green eyes, but it was gone before Hermione could register it.

Xxxx

Hermione cleared her throat. "Headmistress, I know that my qualifications are… lacking… but I know in my heart that this is what I'm supposed to be doing. I have been miserable these past years, and I can't stop thinking about what my life could have been if I had listened… If I had stayed with you."

Minerva's heart stopped. God, those were the words she wanted to hear.

STOP IT. Her mind told her. STOP IT.

Minerva looked at Hermione over her glasses. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Ms. Granger. However, though your qualifications are short, your OWL and NEWT levels are the best Hogwarts has seen in this age. I have no doubt that your mind is as keen as ever, and I am sure you will make a fine addition to the staff."

There. Minerva had allowed Hermione on the staff. God, she hoped she wouldn't regret it.

But somehow, she knew she wouldn't. Because for once in Minerva's life, everything felt like it was falling into place.

Xxx

Hermione couldn't breathe. Couldn't think. A fine addition? Does that mean…

"Oh, Professor, thank you! Thank you so much! I promise I'll work hard!"

"Minerva, dear."

"Thank you Minerva." Hermione smiled, "I needed this."

Minerva smiled. "Now about your children, Rose and Hugo I believe?"

Hermione's heart sank. Oh, God, the children. She hadn't even thought about where they'd go during the school year.

"I mean, I hadn't really thought… I could leave… I mean…" She mumbled out.

Minerva raised her hand. "There have been many children raised here at Hogwarts."

Hermione wasn't sure she understood. "What?"

Minerva smiled, "The children can stay in your private suite, Hermione. We have house elves who can teach them during the day and feed them meals when you are busy. You can still eat in the Great Hall and then join your children for their dinner. The walls are charmed so that Rose and Hugo won't be seen by the other students. You are the one who controls who can come in and out of your private rooms. Currently, I think I am the only one with access, but for Ron's visitation I can open your Floo Network."

Hermione felt the tears surging up. This was too good to be true. She could learn, teach, and be a mother. THIS was it. This was what she had been missing for so long.

"Minerva, this is surreal."

Xxxx

Minerva felt her heart soar at Hermione's words. It was surreal for her, too.

Hermione looked as beautiful as ever, sitting there staring up with those gorgeous brown eyes.

"You're welcome dear."

Minerva reached into her desk and pulled out a piece of parchment.

"Here is your salary information. In an hour, the numbers will scramble themselves so that they are unreadable. When they do this, you may store it for safekeeping. To get it to return to its previous state, simply say, 'Numerallo,' and the numbers will return for five minutes."

Hermione reached up and grabbed the letter.

When she leaned in, Minerva could smell her unmistakable scent- vanilla and coconut.

"After I show you to your rooms, you are more than welcome to stay for lunch so that I can introduce you to the students. Then you can head home and grab your things if that works for you."

Hermione nodded. "That sounds fine."

Rising Minerva walked to the Gargoyle. "I'll show you to your rooms."

Hermione rose and threw her arms around Minerva. "Thank you."

Minerva, despite her normally stoic form, hugged back, and held on. God, she had missed her. She had missed everything about her. And now she was here in her arms. She couldn't believe it.

"I missed you so, Hermione."

Hermione pulled back and looked into the green eyes. In them she saw that same spark that she had seen that night outside of Hog's Head.

"I won't leave you again Minerva."

Xxx

Minerva pulled her arms away and crossed them tightly around her chest. "Don't make promises you can't keep." Her Gaelic voice piercing the air.

Minerva pushed past Hermione and headed down the stairs, Hermione following after her.

Minerva didn't look back at Hermione. How could she have allowed herself to show that moment of vulnerability?

Damn. It was as if she had completely thrown out everything she'd work so hard to build up in five seconds.

Arriving at her Transfiguration room, Minerva paused at the door. She mentally corrected herself. Not HER room. Now it was Professor Granger's room.

"Just go to the back wall, tap the stone with the Hogwarts seal on it three times and say, 'Chamomile.' That will take you to your rooms."

Hermione walked in to room and turned back to Minerva.

"Minerva, I didn't make a promise I wouldn't keep. You know me."

Minerva tightened her arms and pursed her lips. "Do I? People change, you know."

Without another word, Minerva turned out of the room and walked as quickly as she could back to her room.

Once inside, she grabbed her cigarettes and sat on her bed. Her head was pounding. God, why couldn't she just accept what Hermione had said? Why did she have to act like the Wicked Bitch of Hogwarts? Damn. Damn. Damn.

_You always had a wonderful way of screwing things up, Minerva, _she sarcastically thought to herself.

She glanced at the clock. 12:13. Lunch was getting ready to start. Ugh, lunch. That meant people. Filius. Her.

Taking another drag, she stubbed out her cigarette and went into the bathroom. Reaching her vanity, she washed her face.

_Pull yourself together, _she inwardly cursed herself._ She is just another woman…_

_Wasn't she?_


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for all the encouragement… I am still trying to write these chapters just as quickly as I can! This is chapter 6, and like I said, the story will end up being probably 14ish- just as a pacing guide (: _

_Hope everyone enjoys! _

Hermione took a survey of her rooms.

They were huge.

There were two small bedrooms beside each other with tiny twin beds. One had posters of English tea parties and ponies, pink walls, and a coloring set. The other had a large picture of a panda, a Qudditch poster, and a magical train set on the floor.

It was perfect.

The den was large and spacious, with a soft cream paisley sofa and a large white fuzzy rug. The rest of the floor was the deepest wood, and the walls were wood and stone. At the back wall there was a huge fireplace with a large hearth.

Even with the stone walls, it didn't feel anything less that homey.

Hermione walked into what must be the master bedroom and her mouth gaped open.

The bed was huge, a King easily. It was high off the ground, too, and it came to Hermione's chest.

Just to the left of the bed was the bathroom, with a large double sink vanity and an enormous shower. It also had a large closet with spaces for robes, dresses, and shoes. The bathroom walls were a deep red with a white marble counter and shower.

Hermione couldn't believe it. Everything was perfect. Better than perfect.

She crawled up on her bed and opened the parchment containing her pay statement.

She nearly choked on her own air when she read it.

_Hermione Jean Granger_

_First Year Transfiguration Professor_

_Salary for Current School Year: 50,000 Galleons_

50,000. Holy shit. Ron had worked for nearly a decade at the ministry and barely made 29,000.

But 50?

No wonder the professors loved it here.

What would she do with that money?

Books, she decided. I want a library to rival Minerva's...

She lay out on her bed and hugged her pillow.

"Oh, Minerva. What would I do without you?"

Xxxx

Minerva sat quietly at the table for lunch. Her quiet demeanor didn't go unnoticed by Filius.

Neither did her second pack of cigarettes, she was sure.

"Minerva, are you alright?"

She smiled at her Deputy. "Fine, just a bit tired. But things will improve now that someone will be teaching Transfiguration." At her last remark, Filius noticed a slight spark in Minerva's emerald eyes.

He smiled curiously, and Minerva quickly diverted her attention back to her food. Her eyes couldn't help but wander over to the far left of the table to where Hermione was sitting.

She looked amazing. Motherhood and done her well. She was no longer the skinny, awkward teenager Minerva had known. She was a thin, graceful, and radiant woman. Minerva couldn't breathe. She was so beautiful and happy.

Hermione turned at met Minerva's gaze and smiled warmly at her. Nodding, Minerva broke their eye contact and stood up.

"May I have your attention please!" Her Gaelic voice rang out in the Great Hall. The students instantly fell quiet.

"Thank you. I am very pleased to announce that we have a new Transfiguration professor."

She noticed a few students high five each other. Of course they were excited- no more of Minerva's 5 foot essays.

"Professor Granger will be taking up the post. I assure you, although much nicer than me, she is not faint at heart. Don't try to pull anything in her classroom. She fought Voldemort, I assure you that young students are no trouble for her. I can also assure you that her passion for reading and writing detailed essays could rival my own."

She noticed, to her satisfaction, that the student's smiles disappeared from their faces.

"Ms. Granger, would you like to say anything?"

Hermione shook her head, "I think you have said plenty, Headmistress."

Minerva smiled, "As you were, students," and motioned for the students to continue eating. She pushed her chair back and made her way to the teacher's exit.

She paused at Hermione, instantly taking in the warm smell of vanilla.

"Hermione, you are aware that you are learning your second level of mastery."

Hermione turned. "Yes..."

"When you arrive tonight with your children, get them settled in and come to my office at 9:00. We'll begin our lesson then."

Hermione started to respond, but Minerva had already strode out of the Hall.

Rounding the corner, Minerva transformed herself into her Tabby Animagus and bounded up the stairs. When she reached the corridor, she ran at full speed until she came in front of the Gargoyle, then she morphed back.

Suddenly out of breath, Minerva realized she probably ought to run more often.

She should probably quit smoking too.

Chuckling, she entered her office.

She knew that neither option was likely to happen anytime soon.

She stepped to her desk and ungracefully flopped into her seat, her hands automatically reaching for that bottom drawer.

"So how do you feel now, Minerva?"

Lighting her cigarette, she gave a disapproving look towards Albus, "You're smart. Figure it out."

"By your demeanor… I'd say excited, nervous, anxious…."

Minerva nodded and exhaled the thick smoke. "All of the above."

"Perhaps a little bit more?"

Minerva thought about it. "Maybe. But I am not prone to surrender to foolish feelings, and that is exactly what mine are."

Albus quirked his eyebrow, but remained mute.

Minerva would come around….

Eventually.

Xxxx

Hermione gathered the last of Hugo and Rose's things and shrank them into her carry-all bag. She had had it for years, and it had been the most helpful thing she could ever imagine.

"Kiss Aunt Ginny goodbye," she told them.

Rose and Hugo hugged their aunt, and Ginny smiled down at them. "Love you, little ones."

Hermione leaned in and hugged Ginny.

"I think I'm finally getting things right, Gin."

"You are, I can tell. I told you- you didn't lose it."

Hermione let go and smiled.

"Hold hands."

With kids in tow, Hermione tossed in the Floo power. "Hermione's Private Rooms." In a flash and a tug, the world receded, only to reappear in her new suite.

"Wows, Mama, are this for us?" Rose looked around in amazement. Hugo looked as if his jaw would be permanently dislocated.

"Yes, dear, all for us."

"COOL!" Hugo screamed, dashing to the nearest room. He reappeared in an instant, a frown on his face.

"I no like dis room!"

Hermione peered in. "That's because it's Rose's room."

Rose tip toed over and looked inside. With a loud squeal she pounced on top of her bed. "Mommy I love it! It's mine!"

Hermione smiled. It had been a while since Rose had been so happy. She felt a tug on her sleeve.

Looking down, she saw Hugo had tears in his eyes. "Whad abouts me, Mommy?"

Hermione scooped him up, hugging him tightly. "Oh, darling, you have a room too!

Look!"

She walked over and opened to door to Hugo's room. Instantly his tears vanished and he scrambled out of Hermione's arms into his room.

"YAYYYYYY! PANDA!" He screamed.

Hermione laughed and smiled. Her children were so happy... So away from the drama of divorce...

"I see Hogwarts still has some magic to it."

Hermione spun around to see Minerva standing by the fire place.

Hermione smiled, "It's giving them the escape I always wanted to give them."

Minerva nodded, "I am glad."

Hermione stepped closer to Minerva. "Thank you for everything. This… this is better than I could have ever dreamed for."

Minerva leaned closer to Hermione, "You deserve the best, dear, don't forget it."

Hermione wanted to lean in closer and just breathe her in. She smelled distinctly… Minerva. She smelled like flowers and parchment- that she remembered from school. But now there was a new smell, too. Hermione had smelled something similar, but not the same. She instantly associated the new scent as specifically Minerva's smell.

She was about to ask Minerva why she had stopped to visit when Rose and Hugo reappeared, curious at the new voice.

Minerva dropped down to her knees. "And you must be Rose and Hugo."

They both bashfully nodded.

"I am Minerva McGonagall. I'm Headmistress here. But to you two, I am just Minerva, okay?"

They both nodded.

"Good. Now I have some gifts for you..."

Rose and Hugo's eyes lit up and they took a step closer to Minerva. Minerva reached behind her and pulled out a gold box with a red ribbon and a silver box with a blue ribbon.

"The gold one is for Rose, the blue for Hugo. We shall open them one at a time, yes?"

They each took their respective boxes and Minerva nodded to Rose to open hers first.

"Oh, Mama, look!" Rose cried. Out of her box came a myriad of colors which Hermione identified as butterflies. They were a bit like a Patronus, solid yet mystical. They looked real, but Hermione could barely discern the glittering color of the magic on their wings.

Rose spun around and raised her arms, and the butterflies continued dancing around her.

"Rose," Minerva grabbed her attention. "Now when you're done, simply say 'My butterflies come home,' and they will go back in the box. Will you try it?"

Rose nodded. "My butterflies come home," and instantly, the butterflies gently flew into the box.

"Now I believe it is young Hugo's turn. Open yours, my dear."

Hugo eased the box open, unsure of what his present would be.

When he opened it, his eyes went wide with awe.

The room instantly darkened and above them was a night sky. The stars were crystal clear. Hermione noticed some odd lines in the picture, but on closer inspection she realized that the faint lines were outlines of Zodiac symbols.

Minerva's Gaelic voice broke their revere. "The stars correspond with the real ones, and they will change with the seasons. You can use this whenever you want, but I like sleeping under it. When you are done, simply say 'Goodbye Stars,' and it will go back into the box."

Hugo nooded. "Goodbye Stars!" Hugo cried, and instantly the room returned to normal.

Rose bounded over and threw her arms around Minerva. "Thank you, thank you, thank you. These are the bestest presents ever!" Minerva pulled back and kissed Rose's head. "You're welcome, my dear."

Hugo followed suit and hugged Minerva. "I likes yous. Will you stay here's wid us?" Minerva kissed Hugo on the head and hugged him tighter. "Yes, my darling lad," her Scottish accent more pronounced, "I will stay with you."


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: I know that some people have a hard time understanding why I chose Minerva as a smoker, but I still like that character flaw and I think it fits her. I admit, I did think about it because of Maggie's smoking, but it makes sense to me that she would. She is constantly working and busy... Not to mention lonely... And cigarettes are a likely "drug" of choice. I didn't like the idea of her drinking because it impairs judgment, something Minerva wouldn't do... Nor did I like the idea of pepper-up potions because it changes a person (like a drug). So anyway, that's my long winded explanation._

_Sorry for the lack of an update in a while! Busy weekend! _

_Enjoy the chapter!_

Minerva returned to her office and instantly busied herself with paperwork.

She was almost through her first letter when she felt her mind craving smoke.

Without looking she reached down and grabbed her box, withdrawing one and lighting it and leaving the rest on her desk.

Most of the paperwork was simple, filling out reports on students, faculty, and other happenings around the school.

The other part was tedious- doing the accounting for all materials used at the school. God, she hated it.

Halfway through her stack she recognized a letter from the Ministry. Though the Ministry technically had no jurisdiction over Hogwarts, it still managed to be an incessant nuisance to Minerva.

This time Kingsley wanted a detailed report on the current teachers at Hogwarts. Apparently the new system for monitoring had a flaw, that much Minerva could tell, and from the other subtle clues she had a feeling that Hogwarts itself distorted the information about it's occupants.

When any professor attempted to speak about various specific details about Hogwarts, they would often find themselves stammering for words. Hogwarts itself was lined with an unbreakable vow of sorts. It kept Hogwarts' innermost secrets safe.

Minerva, therefore, was at a loss of what to write. She couldn't give information because she knew it would just wind up rearranging itself.

Knowing that her letter would be a futile attempt, she decided to go to the Ministry.

She took a couple last long, thick drags, and then stubbed them out.

She rose to make her way to the Floo network, but turned and grabbed her pack of cigarettes and her matches. She figured after her meeting with Kingsley she'd need them.

She entered into the fireplace. "Ministry of Magic."

In a whirl she arrived in the main hallway of the Ministry, and the glittering fountain flowed before her. She banished the soot and made her way towards the magic elevators.

She glanced up at the clock- it was already six o'clock. Damn. If she missed Kingsley, that would mean even more headache tomorrow.

Spotting Kingsley's secretary making her way to the same elevator, Minerva flagged her down.

"Laura! Is the Minister still here?"

The blonde witch turned to Minerva. "Yes, Headmistress, he is. I'm on my way up. Join me?"

Minerva nodded and followed in behind her.

Laura had a son in Hogwarts now, a fifth year Hufflepuff boy named Sampson. "Sampson is doing well in his classes. He made good marks in all of his classes I believe. Except for Arthrimancy. He did… fair in that class."

Laura chuckled, "Yes, I know. His father and I both hated it when we were in school, and I think he's caught it, too."

Minerva smiled. "Mine was Divination- never liked it."

Laura nodded, "That's about right."

"Beg your pardon?"

Laura stammered, "Well… I mean… What I meant was- you're one for hard facts, evidence, precision, hard work and practice. Divination is very… uncertain. And oftentimes those who profess to understand it have absolutely no idea what their talking about."

Minerva laughed, "That's a kind way to put it. But yes, that is about right."

They shared an understanding smile before the elevator came to a jarring halt.

"Here you are, Headmistress. Second door on the left- you can't miss it."

"Thank you."

Minerva turned and headed down the hallway. The floor was a deep wood and the walls were a deep forest green with faint traces of navy patterns. Small chandeliers lined the hallways.

Upon arriving at the door, Minerva chuckled to herself. No you couldn't miss the door. There was an enormous gold engraved plaque that stated Kingsley's name, position, and every damn award or recognition he'd ever received.

It looked something like this:

**Kingsley Shakelbolt**

**Minister of Magic**

**Order of Merlin, 2****nd**** Class **

**Head of Auror Department**

**Recipient of the Wizard of the Year Award under Minister Fudge **

**Lead Auror in Second War with Voldemort **

**Winner of the Tryphonus Award for Valor in First War with Voldemort**

**Investigator in First War with Voldemort**

And that was only on the first part of the plaque.

_Arrogant asshole_, Minerva thought. Apparently when people became Minister of Magic their common sense went out the door.

Although Kingsley hadn't done a bad job as Minister, it seemed that the obvious things evaded him.

Like the fact that the International Wizarding Conference was during exams.

Knocking on the door, Minerva heard a faint, "Enter."

Upon entering, Kingsley rose from his enormous leather chair. "Minerva, sit, please."

"Thank you." Minerva walked to the seat directly across from Kingsley's and sat perched on the end.

"And to what do I owe this pleasure?"

"Your letter, actually."

Kingsley's face fell. Not a friendly visit then- business it was.

"Oh, I see."

"No, I don't think you do. The request that you made of me simply cannot be done."

Kingsley gave Minerva a disapproving look. "I didn't ask you to rebuild Atlantis, I simply asked for detailed information on your staff. Surely you have that on your records."

Minerva sighed, "Yes, I do, but the thing is- those records are at Hogwarts. Not here."

Kingsley looked at her like she was a slow child unable to grasp easy information. "Then why didn't you bring it with you, Minerva?"

Minerva felt her anger rising. Why did he have to be so damn condescending? She needed to smoke. "What you don't seem to understand, Minister, is that the records of Hogwarts professors are kept inside Hogwarts. That is, the true and accurate records. If you had looked closely at the records that are rearranging themselves, you would be able to detect the charm put on them."

"Well if it's just a charm, I can reverse it."

Minerva shook her head. "It's not just any charm. It's a charm that's been with Hogwarts as long as the school has been in England. The records of the professors are under a sort of unbreakable vow. Why do you think Albus insisted that Hogwarts was the safest place to be during the wars?"

Kingsley shook his head, "Minerva, we need those records."

"What you have is what you get. There's nothing I can do about it."

Kingsley gave her a hard look. "What's this really about?"

Minerva was taken aback, "What in heavens are you talking about?"

"Who are you protecting? I always knew something wasn't right about you."

"Not right about me? What have I ever done to you?"

Is that why you hired Hermione? Do you need more people on your side?"

"What ever are you implying?"

"I'm implying that there is a conspiracy in Hogwarts against the Ministry and I will not have it!"

"A conspiracy? You really are a foolish man!" Minerva felt her cheeks go hot with anger.

"I'm foolish? You're just like Albus- stubborn, insolent, and conspiring to overthrow anyone who has an ounce more authority than you!"

Minerva rose violently out of her chair, her Scottish voice slicing the air, an aura of pure distain dancing angrily around her.

"THAT IS ENOUGH, MINISTER! I will not sit idly by and be accused of sedition! Especially by a man who feels the need to display his credentials to every person who must walk past his door! I have been nothing but obliging to the Ministry, no matter how ridiculous its head seems to be! Now, if you want to continue making accusations against me, I suggest you start an investigation with the Board. I assure you they will find nothing against me."

Kingsley rose out of his chair, "How dare you…"

"How dare I? HOW DARE YOU! Don't you DARE forget who I am, Minister! I have saved your life and career on more than one occasion!"

Kingsley gaped at the Headmistress. He knew he had made a serious error in accusing her.

"I expect an apology letter on my desk by tomorrow morning. If it isn't there, consider us to be at a deepest opposition. Good day, Minister."

With that, Minerva turned and strode out of his office.

Not bothering to follow protocol and exit through the Floo Network, Minerva apparated back to Hogwarts' North Lawn- the lawn that was protected from students and only open to teacher's and their families.

She reached into her robe and shakily withdrew a cigarette. Lighting it, she continued walking towards the lake.

It looked so calm, so serene. It soothed Minerva. So did her cigarette.

One cigarette passed. Then two.

She glanced up at the sky. By the setting sun, she guessed it was about seven, which meant that she had to be in the Great Hall in half an hour. Damn.

Stubbing out her cigarette, she burned the remains in a flash with a flick of her wrist. She wasn't about to ruin the beauty of Hogwarts' grounds with her habit.

With one last look at the lake, she apparated back into her office.

Xxxx


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: This chapter has a very slight fem slash from memory, along with glimpses of abuse. By the rating, I'm assuming everyone will be fine with this, but I wanted to put a disclaimer up anyway.__  
><em>_Enjoy!_

Hermione was about to take another bite of her dinner when she saw Minerva walk into the Great Hall. She looked... Awful.

Hermione wanted to rush to her and wrap her arms around her thin frame, but instead, she turned back to her food and kept her head down.

From the corner of her eye she saw her sit down. Filius instantly leaned towards her, and Hermione saw the silencing charm fall around them.

Rolanda turned to Hermione. "You're worried about her, aren't you?..." More statement than question.

Hermione blushed, "No more than a colleague should. She just... Works all the time... And she never takes time for herself."

Rolanda smiled sadly. "That's Minerva. And Hermione, we have all been begging her to take time off. She won't listen to any of us."

Hermione frowned, "So my worrying...?"

"Probably won't go anywhere. She does what she wants. After Albus died, she has kept herself shut away, and I don't think that will change."

Hermione nodded, but wished silently and desperately that she could be the one to help Minerva.

Xxxxx

Minerva walked slowly into the Great Hall. She wanted to be anywhere but here. Anywhere but where hundreds of eyes would track her movements and trace the tired lines that her Glamour charms could barely conceal.

Anywhere but where she was.

Minerva glanced down the table and saw Hermione avert her eyes. Minerva's heart sank. Of course Hermione's look wouldn't linger.

Why should it?

Minerva carefully pulled out her seat and sat down. Inwardly cursing herself, she remembered too late that she hadn't gotten rid of the lingering smoke on her robes.

"Minerva, you've been..."

Minerva put up a silencing charm. "Smoking again, yes Filius. What are you now, my lung crusader?"

"Only a concerned friend and colleague."

"Well stop being so concerned. It makes you look old."

"Oh, come on Minerva."

"I'm serious. Don't push it."

He gave her his classic look of disapproval.  
>"I'm lifting the charm, Filius. Not another word."<p>

He sighed, threw up his arms, and went back to his food. No sense in trying to make her see reason.

Minerva understood her friend, but there was so much inside that she couldn't bear to let go of... She didn't dare try to let her guard down.

It just hurt to bad when they left.

She missed Albus.

She sighed...

Hadn't she been hurt enough?

She remembered those years like they happened but moments ago...

_"Miranda, I love you!"___

_Miranda turned and sneered, an angry red flashing in her eyes. "LIAR! Why do you spend all your time with Grania? I am your lover! Stay with me!"___

_Minerva felt the tears push behind her eyes. "I'm a Transfiguration apprentice! I have to study! Please..."___

_"Then you don't love me!"___

_"I do! I only love you!"___

_Miranda marched forward, her long blonde hair whipping around her. She aimed her wand and Minerva's heart.___

_"You're a goddamn liar, Minerva. You're worthless to me."___

_Minerva sank to her knees and sobbed, "Please, please don't... I won't go back to Grania, I swear."___

_Miranda paused, thinking about Minerva's offer.___

_She leaned down and kissed Minerva roughly. Minerva responded, if only in a desperate attempt to stop what she knew was next.___

_ "Liar,". Miranda whispered against her lips.___

_"Crucio!"___

_Minerva saw a blinding light, then felt her back seize up and spasm, her arms flailing of their own accord.___

_Her legs curled in a weak attempt to shut the pain. She heard herself scream in a truly inhuman voice, her eyes shutting, her heart hammering... She felt like she was imploding.___

_In an instant the pain stopped, and Minerva felt herself slowly come down from the intense agony and pain. Finding the strength to open her eyes, she looked up.___

_Miranda lowered herself on top of Minerva's thin, shaking frame. "Do you love me, Minerva?"___

_Minerva wanted to throw up, run away... God, she wanted to just die.___

_She looked into Miranda's cold eyes and nodded. "Yes, Miranda, I love you."__  
><em>  
>Xxxx<p>

Hermione glanced at the clock- 8:45. Rose and Hugo were tucked into bed fast asleep.

Hugo had released his stars for the night, and Rose had kept a butterfly out on her night stand. Hermione looked in their rooms again- so peaceful.

She smiled and turned to leave, grabbing her lighter robe and her wand.

She walked into the corridor, shutting the door behind her. She had discovered that there were several exits out of her private rooms, thanks to poking around the Marauder's Map at Harry's.

She walked up to the Gargoyle, only to find that it was already open.

She quietly walked up into the office and peered inside.

Minerva had her back to the door, but there was smoke wafting from somewhere Hermione couldn't see.

Hermione looked closer and saw Minerva draw a cigarette to her lips, inhale deeply, and let it out in a long, hard exhale.

Ah, Hermione thought, That's the smell I noticed. Hermione's grandfather had smoked until she was 10.

Hermione felt... Upset... About it. Minerva smoking? What? When did this start?

Had she always smoked?

Did she smoke when the Golden Trio were in school?

Why was she smoking anyway? Didn't she know it would kill her lungs?

Hermione had obviously held her gaze too long, for Minerva's head whipped around to face her.

"Oh Hermione!" Minerva stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and with a flick of her wrist dispelled the smoke. "I lost track of time, my apologies. Are we ready to start?"

Hermione looked hard at Minerva. The glamour charm was slowly ebbing, and her beautiful Gaelic voice was a bit lower than Hermione remembered it.

"Why are you smoking?"

Minerva sighed. "Why do you mess with your cuticles when you take tests?"

"Not even the same..."

"It is, Hermione. It's stress relief. Some people run, some meditate. I smoke."

Hermione frowned, "Minerva, do you want to ruin your lungs? Your heart? Veins?"

Minerva gave her a look, "We're all dying, I suppose I'll go smoking."

"Not even funny. You have to stop. When did you start?"

"Not relevant. Now, if you're so offended, you are more than welcome to study under someone else."

Hermione looked at Minerva. "You know I only want to be with you."

Xxxx

Minerva felt her heart stop. She wanted to soak in Hermione's words...

But that wasn't Minerva.

"As flattering as that is, I will not be fond of health lectures from you every night. I assure you I get plenty from Filius. Understood?"

Hermione bit her lip, her classic tell of disagreement. "Fine."

"Good, now, onward?"

Hermione nodded, and Minerva grabbed her wand and strode out the door.

Minerva was nervous. She hadn't taught Transfiguration at this level for a couple of decades. Certainly, she could easily perform Level Two skills. Hell, she could probably do them in her sleep.

But trying to convey years of knowledge?

Harder.

They arrived at a blank wall. Minerva closed her eyes, and conjured up a picture in her mind of her and Albus' old dueling space.

Immediately the wall produced a door, and Minerva and Hermione entered.

Everything was as she had left it... Even the cabinet of expensive malt whiskey.

Minerva walked over to the two chairs and sat down in one, motioning for Hermione to sit in the other.

"Now, there a couple of things we must get out of the way first."

Hermione nodded.

"First- trust me. Do as I say always. Questions can come later, but in the moment, you must listen to me. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Second- trust yourself. You have much more power than you could ever believe. I promise you- you _can _do this."

Hermione smiled, "I think I can do that."

Minerva gazed at Hermione, "Yes I think you can. Now, if you will watch me, this will take about five minutes to complete. I'll explain as I go along.

xxx

Hermione could feel her palms sweating. She was more anxious than she had ever been. How long had it been since she'd cast these kinds of spells? Could she even do them?

_Trust yourself_…

Minerva's voice interrupted her thoughts. Breathing deeply, she refocused her attention.

Minerva walked across the room so she was in profile to Hermione. She summoned a mahogany chest to about 10 feet in front of her.

"Now I am going to transfigure this into a bird. However, as you should know, this will be a complete transfiguration, meaning when I am done this will be entirely fowl and able to function as such until I or it dies."

Hermione nodded, brow furrowing to remember her previous lessons. "Yes, unlike when we transfigured them into water goblets, which was a temporary change."

"Correct, more like a masking of true features rather than changing them. Now…"

Minerva moved her wand in a graceful arching motion. Immediately the chest came apart, and the draws levitated out and away, leaving everything floating and bare.

"This is the part that you will not normally witness. You will see me change this into a bird, therefore you will have knowledge of the spell I am using. When you finish your master, however, you will not be privy to that information."

Hermione nodded and watched Minerva.

Minerva flicked her wrist and said, "mutatione sanguinem," and the first of three drawers began to change.

First, the color changed from a deep brown to a crimson red. Its cube-shape began to flatten, and the lines marking the wood began to raise up, creating intricate patterns in the air.

Hermione looked around and noticed that the other drawers had changed colors too. But one drawer began to split itself into what seemed like organs… A liver, heart…

Another made more veins and a brain…

Another yet made small, perfect bones…

The shell of the chest began to morph into skin, turning from brown, to sickly green, to yellow, to beige, to a delicate pink.

She looked even closer and noticed the faint outlines of the root of the bird's feathers.

She felt like she was witnessing the miracle of life itself.

Xxxx

Minerva could feel herself growing tired. She knew that she could easily perform the spell, but it had been a while since she was required to demonstrate the spell so thoroughly. Normally she would have done several sweeping, grand motions and had the damn thing transfigured.

But as Grania taught her so many years ago, some things cannot be learned through reading or telling… They have to be seen. Part of the magic of learning.

Gently moving her wand, she slowly and carefully transfigured each part of the chest. When she could see the beginnings of the feathers, she made a circular motion to bring the parts together.

"Simulavi." She flicked her wrist and sent the spell outward.

Almost instantly the parts moved together, and it was with great effort that Minerva slowed their motions to allow Hermione to see how they worked together. Her wand shook a bit in protest.

Minerva felt the sweat prickling on her back as she painstakingly brought the pieces together.

Xxxx

Hermione watched in pure awe as the veins, organs, and skin began to move together… morphing in an odd and beautiful dance into their final form.

Hermione could barely breathe and she watched the piece glow a fierce white, then solidify into their place.

She could see the beginning of the final product, and the felt a sense of happiness and knowledge seep through her.

She was also amazed at how easily Minerva seemed to perform the spell. No way she was just a Level Four.

Xxxx

With a couple easy flicks, Minerva watched at the chest/bird glowed a bright white.

She smiled to herself… she was almost done.

With another graceful arc, the light grew brighter, bathing every corner of the room in light, and then with a small pop, it was gone.

In its place sat a small duck, looking curiously around at the strange surroundings.

Minerva chuckled- she had always loved seeing the transfigured animals first sleepy gaze and dawning comprehension.

Xxxx

Hermione couldn't believe that a duck sat in front of her where a chest had just stood.

"Minerva! That was… I mean… how on earth?"

Minerva smiled. "You can do that, too, Hermione. You just didn't do it on quite the same level."

Hermione shook her head, "Not like you."

"Not yet dear. Now, you remember the spells I used?"

"Yes, I do."

"Good, now, for this next part, you only need to remember them in your head. Say them in your head. But when you speak, you will say 'Divorsus Immuto.' You will gently and carefully arch your arm in figure 8's, moving from right to left. The bird will emit a blue light, then you will notice the parts drifting apart."

Hermione nodded and Minerva continued.

"When they have all come undone, you will say 'Tergo Silva,' and the pieces will start to morph back into the wood. Stay focused, Hermione, on what the chest looks like. When you see the pieces beginning to change, you want will move in an up and down three-loop 8 with an arc at the top and bottom. You must remember to go slowly and make sure that each piece is solid once again."

Hermione nodded.

"When it is complete, you will feel a weight settle in your wand and the glow will die, then you will know that you are done. Finish by putting the drawers back into their place."

Hermione nodded and stepped forward. Rolling her neck and wrist, she braced herself.

Xxx

Minerva reached forward and placed her hands on Hermione's shoulders. In an instant, she felt her tense then relax.

"You can do it," she whispered into her ear, breathing in Hermione's almond smell.

xxx

Hermione leaned back into the touch, but felt Minerva instantly move away. Inwardly scolding herself for even daring to think about Minerva seeing her as anything but an apprentice, she shifted her weight and centered herself for the task ahead.

She raised her wand, "Divorsus Immuto."

She felt a jolt come from her wand as the bird glowed blue then gently began to drift apart. The eyes closed gently, almost as if sleeping, and then the blue glow clouded her vision.

Moving her arm in a careful figure 8, she felt the pieces slowing pulling themselves apart. Her arm began to ache and she felt her magic leaving her fingertips and flowing like water through her wand.

Her shoulder began to ache and it spread across her neck and down her back. Breathing harder, she brought all of her attention back to the task at hand.

Squinting her eyes, she could discern that the pieces were nearly apart, and they were floating about as if suspended in water.

Minerva's voice broke through, "Now the next spell."

"Tergo Silva," Hermione said barely above a whisper.

The pieces began to change into a dark wood color. She moved her arm in the up and down three 8 and arc. The veins began shifting first, bonding together and then solidifying into a flat, hard surface. They morphed more and Hermione could feel rather than see the shape of the drawer taking place.

She inhaled sharply and continued moving her wand, the other pieces slowly changing… the feathers rescinding and the skin hardening, turning a deep brown and taking the shape of the chest.

The ache spread down her back and into Hermione's head. She could feel her pulse pounding.

With one last arc, the pieces finalized, and she quickly sent the drawers back into the chest.

Lowering her wand she sat heavily on the floor.


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Thanks for the reviews… keep 'em coming! I like to have feedback and opinions on how you think the story is progressing… Getting your reviews is the best part of my day! So please, please, PLEASE review as much as you can! I'm trying to be a faithful author and update my story ASAP :) _

_This chapter has a lot of mentions of rape/abuse, so you might want to grab a tissue or a bar of chocolate._

_Hope everyone enjoys!_

Minerva rushed over to Hermione's side.

"Hermione that was absolutely splendid! And on your first try! I daresay you haven't lost an ounce of talent, my dear."

Hermione smiled weakly. "Perhaps not lost talent but lost stamina."

Minerva reached into her robe and withdrew a small piece of chocolate. "That's normal. It is your first time."

Hermione nodded and ate the sweet in a couple bites.

Minerva patted her back and stood up.

"Care for a small drink before you return?"

Hermione stood up and nodded. "Fine."

Minerva walked over to the cabinet holding her bottles of malt whiskey. She withdrew the one with the sapphire top- it had been Albus' favorite, and she had grown to love it, too. The label was "Sapphire Flame," and it was pricey- 2,700 Galleons a bottle. Minerva thought it might be best if Hermione didn't know that small detail.

She returned to the desk and transfigured the chest into a table and summoned it to them.

"A small one, please," Hermione asked.

Minerva nodded and poured a small amount in Hermione's tumbler and a larger amount in hers.

Minerva looked at Hermione. She was so full of life when she was at school. Why had that spark dimmed?

"Hermione, what made you come back?"

Xxxx

Hermione's heart stopped. This was the line of questioning she was hoping to avoid.

She lifted her eyes to Minerva's perfect emerald gaze. What ever could she say?

"Well, my marriage was falling apart..."

"Before then, dear. It started before then."

Hermione downed the remainder of her drink, the amber liquid heating her veins and momentarily blurring her mind.

"I loved learning. It was all I ever wanted to do. My first year here when I met Harry and Ron… it was magical, really. And almost instantly we were thrown into a crazy, daring world. I wasn't just the teacher's pet- I was the brightest witch of my age who went on bold, insane journeys to stop the one of the darkest wizards of our time…

… it was exhilarating. And when I went home in the summer, no one was the wiser. I was simply Hermione again. And after that final battle… I don't know… I just wanted that anonymity again. To walk the streets and not have anyone look at me with their ideas glaring out at me. I wanted to be free.

And for a while, Ron let me be that way. He was that way too, you know? He never really had anything, except being a Weasley and being Harry's best friend. He had average marks, average Quidditch skills…

And together we could ignore the past and just focus on us. For a while it worked. We didn't talk of the future. We lived in the present, traveling everywhere and never looking behind us."

Hermione's eyes burned with tears. She had never told anyone about this. Ever. And on her first night back to Hogwarts, here she was telling everything to Minerva. She wanted to stop, wanted to act like everything was fine. But something in her had burst wide open, and it begged for release.

"When I got pregnant with Rose, everything changed. He didn't look at me the same way again. We weren't friends anymore… there was no equality. Only Ron mattered then. He wouldn't hold me anymore. Wouldn't touch me. Wouldn't really speak to me at all. He would just look at me out of the corner of his eye, like I was some possession he had to monitor."

Minerva's long fingers reached out and intertwined with Hermione's, silently telling her to continue.

"After she was born, Ron stayed away. He wouldn't come home after work- he'd go straight to the bar. He'd stumble in at midnight or later and…"

Hermione felt the tears push over and run hot down her face.

"He'd jerk me awake, rip of my clothes, and…"

Minerva nodded, silently understanding what Hermione meant and gently tightening her hand.

"And he wouldn't look at me. Wouldn't even ask me… He'd just do it… And then he'd leave and sleep on the couch. It went on until I got pregnant with Hugo… And then it went back to him practically ignoring me…"

Hermione cried softly, turning her head away from Minerva.

"Minerva, I just… I just could do it anymore… I couldn't…"

Minerva turned Hermione to her and wrapped her arms around her.

Hermione buried her head into the crook of her neck, breathing in the smell that was distinctly Minerva. It soothed her very soul.

Xxxx

Minerva gently rubbed her hands across Hermione's back, feeling the muscles ease and the breathing relax.

She pulled away and wiped a tear from Hermione's cheek.

With pronounced Gaelic, she whispered, "Thank you for telling me."

Hermione wiped her eyes and straightened.

"And what about you? Why are you smoking?"

Minerva tensed. Every part of her told her not to tell Hermione. She was a colleague, and a much younger colleague. Not someone Minerva ought to be rushing to confide in.

Minerva sighed, "I simply miss Albus."

"Were you two…?"

Minerva smiled, "No, dear, simply friends. And very dear friends at that. I miss talking to him, hearing is laugh, listening to his sage advice… I miss our evening glasses of whiskey and chess games… I miss his nearly silent steps across the corridors…"

Hermione gently smiled, "He was wonderful."

"He really was."

"And how are you dealing without him? Smoking, obviously."

Minerva rolled her eyes. "That's not all I do, Hermione. I walk a lot. I talk to his portrait. I look at pictures, read his journals…"

"He has journals?"

"Mostly his notes on various topics. They were either extremely academic or terribly random. One dealt with extremely difficult arthimancy texts, the other dealt with Bertie Botts' Beans. You know he had an issue with those…"

Hermione laughed. "He did, didn't he…"

"He was a dear, dear friend."

Hermione furrowed her brow. "Well if you weren't with him, who were you with?"

Minerva's blood went cold. "I haven't been with anyone for quite some time."

Hermione pushed, "Surely you've been with someone…"

Minerva looked away and moved towards the opposite end of the couch. "Not anyone I wish to discuss."

Hermione was persistent, "You can trust me."

Minerva closed her eyes. "It's not a matter of trust Hermione."

_It's a matter of I can't talk about it without breaking into racking sobs and feeling the rippling of the dark magic through my very core… feeling my spine cracking apart as my mind reels in pain…_

"Then tell me."

"I can't…"

Xxxx

Hermione was growing exasperated. Why couldn't Minerva tell her? Hadn't Hermione just spilled her guts to her?

"Minerva, please."

Minerva got up to leave, her voice a deep, rich Scottish alto, "I simply cannot talk about it and that is it. I think you can find your way back to your rooms."

Without another word, she turned and left.

Hermione looked at her empty tumbler and threw it with all her might against the wall, shattering it into a million pieces.

Why couldn't Minerva trust her? Hermione had told Minerva her darkest innermost secret, and Minerva had just walled herself off.

Hermione hated herself. Why had she just let herself go like that? Obviously Minerva didn't want to hear about it… And my God it was only the first evening of their lessons…

Hermione sank to the floor and cried.

She felt like crawling into a hole and staying there forever.

_Damn. Damn, damn damn. _

Xxxxx

Minerva dashed to her rooms and magically sealed all entrances to her chamber. Not like she really needed to. Who would come see her at 11 o'clock at night anyhow?

She ran to her room and flung herself on the bed, her tears coming in heartfelt sobs.

God, how she had wanted to tell Hermione. She could see how much her reserved answer and quick departure had hurt the younger woman. And she hated herself for it.

But she simply couldn't think about Miranda… It was all too close to the surface…

Even though she had felt like she had moved on, she realized, with Hermione returning after her initial dismissal, that she still had issues letting go and trusting. And the memories seemed to be surfacing themselves again.

Minerva remembered the first time she had nearly died.

_Minerva walked into her bathroom early in the morning. She had just awoken to an empty bed, and she wanted to shower before she started her work with Grania for the day. She walked over to the vanity and brushed out her dark, long hair. She opened the cabinet and withdrew her favorite hairpin that was a gift from Grania. It had small emeralds and amethyst around the outside of a Gaelic cross._

_Grania always seemed happier when Minerva wore it. And since Minerva was more than likely completing her third level today, why not wear something special?_

_She laid the pin down on the vanity and closed the cabinet. _

_She felt more than heard a presence and whipped around to her bedroom door._

_Miranda stood in the doorway, her blond hair strewn across her back. "And what exactly do you think you're doing?_

_Her eyes were dilated and red; obviously she had been out drinking all night… Heaven knows what else she had been up to. Miranda's eyes looked coldly at the hairpin._

"_Just going to Grania's, nothing more."_

"_And what, may I ask, are you still doing there? Obviously something, or else you wouldn't be getting all dressed up."_

_Minerva smiled gently, not wanting to provoke Miranda's obviously irate mood. _

"_Perhaps finishing an important skill, nothing more."_

"_Oh, really. Well, if it's just a skill, then I don't see the importance of that."_

_Minerva's smile vanished. "But it is important to me."_

_Miranda's eyes narrowed in anger. "Are you calling me a liar?_

_Minerva's eyes went wide with fear. "No… I'm not… I simply mean…" _

_In a few strides Miranda had backed Minerva against the vanity, the marble pushing roughly against Minerva's lower back. There would definitely be a bruise there in a few hours. _

"_What do you mean, Minerva?"_

"_I just mean that… the skill I'm mastering… is very complex… and few witches ever get to this level… that's it…"_

"_And you think you're something special, do you?" _

_Minerva shook her head, "No, I simply…"_

_Miranda reached behind Minerva and yanked her hair down, forcing Minerva's back to bend painfully backwards. "You're nothing. Do you hear me?" _

_Miranda let go for an instant, picked up the pin, and threw it across the room, hitting it with a curse that made it burst into a million fiery pieces. _

"_I TOLD YOU NOT TO WEAR GIFTS FROM HER! AND YOU STILL ARE!"_

_Minerva felt the tears rise in her eyes, her heart sinking lower and lower. "I'm sorry… I just…"_

"_Bitch." Miranda aimed her wand at Minerva… _

"_Don't… Please… "_

"_CRUCIO!" _

_Minerva's body flew backwards and her back rammed against the marble before crashing to the floor. Her back felt like daggers were being slowly twisted and inserted from every side. Her back began to arc on the floor, and her hips and head were pressing dangerously hard against the floor._

_Miranda looked coldly down at Minerva. But instead of releasing her grip like she had before, she tightened her grip on her wand and dug the curse in deeper._

_Minerva felt a small cracking in her back. It felt as if someone was crushing her spine from the inside out, and a searing heat was traveling across her nerves and veins. _

_She screamed a horrid sound, and she heard a definite crack, then two, then three. She lost feeling in her lower limbs. _

_Miranda walked forward and drilled the curse in harder, laughing coldly as Minerva's body tried to fight off the pain._

_Minerva's neck gave a sudden jerk and her head collided with the tile floor. She felt another crack, then a warm, oozing liquid coat her scalp and touch her shoulders._

_Then her world went black. _

Minerva had awoken in St. Mungo's with Grania by her side. When Minerva hadn't shown up for that day's lesson, she had grown concerned and found Minerva on the floor, barely holding on.

The healer's report was grim. Seven fractured vertebrae, damage to her spinal cord, and a serious skull fracture. Not to mention severe loss of blood.

It had taken Minerva two months to recover, but she wouldn't give up Miranda's name. Grania had no doubt of whom it was, but she had no definitive proof, and Minerva was keeping silent.

Minerva hugged her pillow and cried and cried.

How had she been so stupid to stay? Thank Merlin Hermione had enough sense to get out of it while she could… That's what Hermione had that Minerva didn't at her age- true Gryffindor bravery.

Minerva rolled over and sat up. She slowly raised herself up and went to the bathroom.

Pulling off her robe, she stood naked in front of the mirror. Turning and looking over her shoulder, she looked down her back.

Very faintly, she could see the scars across her back where the healers' magic had burned her skin in the last effort to heal her brittle bones.

It had worked, but her skin looked as if it had been scrubbed with steel wool.

Minerva cut out the lights and crawled back into bed, feeling the silk sheets across her body.

_After Miranda, how could I ever trust someone again? _Minerva thought.

_And how could anyone ever love someone as broken as I am?_


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: what better way to cure insomnia than to write? :)__  
><em>_There may be a surprise at the end!_

Hermione awoke the next morning feeling tired and dreadful. Memories of the night before came flooding back to her, and she felt her stomach sink.

She felt awful. Why hadn't Minerva trusted her? She had opened up to her and Minerva had just shut off completely.

She stepped into her shower and let the hot water run over her. She didn't want to pressure Minerva, but she wanted her to know that she cared about her and she would be there for her if she needed it.

Xxxx

Minerva sat up in bed and rubbed her eyes. They felt tired and empty from crying. She ran her slender fingers through her hair, stood up, and went to the bathroom.

She opened her cabinet and withdrew her Marlboros. She grabbed her ashtray and matched and sat down on the pouffe.

She thought about last night. Why had she pulled away from Hermione? She ought to have told her a little bit of her past.

But how would Hermione react if she knew Minerva was with a woman?

Drag.

She glanced up. It was only 3:41. Drag. There was so much she needed to do.

She looked at the mirror. She looked awful. Her eyes were red, their normally emerald color was dark and glassed over.

She started the shower and stubbed out her cigarette. She had to get focused.

Xxxx

Hermione walked into the Great Hall and instantly noticed the empty Head chair.

She took her seat and poured herself a cup of coffee.

Rolanda Hooch sat down beside her. "Morning Granger."

"Morning."

"Seen the Prophet?"

Hermione turned to look at her, a look of confusion on her face. "No, I haven't... I cancelled my subscription."

Rolanda handed her the Prophet. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news..."

Hermione snatched the paper away and immediate flipped to the Golden Trio page. Sure enough, there was Ron's picture, this time with only his underwear on, stumbling out of a bar with a nearly empty bottle of fire whiskey in his hand.

The headline read,

**DIVORCE FINALIZED? LET'S HAVE A TOAST... OR TWO, OR FIVE.**

Ron Weasley, recently divorced from Hermione Granger, was seen leaving the Leaky Cauldron last night in a less than impressive state. Mr. Weasley left the cauldron in his lacking attire shortly before two in the morning. When confronted about his inebriated state, he slurred, "I'm happy to be free." 

Ms. Granger, now a professor at Hogwarts, seems to be doing remarkably well and has kept a low profile. Headmistress McGonagall released this statement, "Ms. Granger is a wonderful addition to the staff, and Hogwarts is very grateful to have such a brilliant mind to teach its pupils. I know she has been though a great deal, but I have no doubt she will be perfect in all she sets her mind to." 

Mr. Weasley has been given a citation for appearing intoxicated in public. His fine is 150 Galleons. The Ministry has not received payment as of this morning. Mr. Weasley has been unavailable for contact. His father, Arthur Weasley, says that the family is working to get through this difficult time.

Hermione looked up and handed Rolanda the paper, immediately feeling sick and panicky.

"I have to go."

Rolanda patted her arm, "Calm yourself and relax before you have class. Some tea will do you good."

Hermione nodded and left, storming out to the teacher's exit.

Why had Minerva spoken to the Prophet? Had they tried to contact her this morning and Minerva had intervened?

Who the hell did she think she was? Hermione could take care of herself.

She felt her shoulder jerk and she looked up to Minerva's emerald eyes.

"Hermione? What's wrong?"

Hermione felt herself grow angry. "Like you don't know."

Minerva's face fell. "The Prophet."

"Of course the Prophet. What else?"

"Hermione..."

"Forget it. I don't need you. I don't need you to lie and say you care! I am fine alone!" Hermione turned to walk towards her room.

"Hermione! Please."

"Please what? I told you everything and I got nothing."

"Hermione, I..."

Hermione raised her hand, "Stop." And she turned and walked away.

Hermione felt the tears run down her face and her heart was hammering in her chest. She felt as if all the wind had been knocked out of her.

How on earth could she love and hate someone at the same time?

Xxxx

One of Minerva's hands flew to her collarbone, the other to steady herself on the wall. She had really screwed up by not talking to Hermione.

Filius came up behind her. "Minerva? Are you alright?"

Minerva righted herself, "Fine, just thought I had forgot something."

Filius looked at her sideways, but didn't question her. "Breakfast, then?"

Minerva nodded. "Breakfast it is."

She entered the hall and sat down. Filius resumed talking about various Hogwarts affairs. She nodded and listened as best as she could, but her mind drifted back to Hermione.

She knew she had to talk to her. When the Prophet contacted this morning demanding an interview with Hermione, she hadn't thought twice before releasing a statement and preventing them from speaking to her. She had thought she was doing the right thing by preventing the interview... She was sure Hermione didn't know about Ron's escapade... But she hadn't even considered how hard it would be when she found out after everyone in the wizarding world...

Damnit. Goddamn you, Minerva.

She finished her toast and gravy and excused herself from the table.

Exiting the Great Hall, she made her way to the Transfiguration Room.

Thoughts raged about in her head. She tried to script out what she should say, but everything sounded so damn trite and cold... She wanted to say something, anything, to convey how much she did care about Hermione, and how much she did trust her.

She arrived at the heavy wooden door and gently knocked.

"Come in," she heard.

She opened the door to see Hermione standing by her desk, eyes red from tears.

"Hermione I need to talk to you," her Scottish accent very pronounced in the empty room.

Hermione turned, crossed her arms, and leaned against the desk. She flicked her eyebrows up and pursed her lips in that classic Hermione "I'm listening though I don't want to," pose.

Minerva closed the space between them so they were only a foot apart. She put her hands on Hermione's arms. "Hermione, you mean the world to me. I have never been happier than I am now because you are back in the castle. You bring such a spark to my heart. I never want you to leave. I'm sorry if I stepped out by talking to the Prophet, but I didn't want you to do a spur of the moment interview about Ron's idiotic and destructive choices. I only wanted to protect you, if only for a moment."

Hermione's eyes grew glassy and she blinked away the tears and looked into Minerva's eyes.

Minerva met the mocha gaze, looking for any sign that she should stop. Finding none, Minerva moved her hands down and intertwined her fingers with Hermione's.

"And as for last night... I'm broken, Hermione. I've been hurt so many times. I don't know how to let people in. It's always been Minerva McGonagall, iconic Witch of Hogwarts. You can't know how much I want to let down that wall... But it's so hard, Hermione. But I'm trying, my dear. I am. I'm so sorry."

"Minerva don't..." Hermione cried. "I'm sorry too! "

Minerva looked pleadingly at Hermione. "Start over?"

Hermione sighed and wrapped her arms around Minerva's thin frame. She pressed her cheek against Minerva's neck and said, "I'm here Minerva. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

Minerva pulled away and gently touched Hermione's cheek. She felt Hermione lean into the touch and saw her eyes close involuntarily.

Minerva couldn't breathe. Her eyes dropped down to Hermione's lips.

"Hermione..."

Hermione looked up into Minerva's eyes and held her gaze.

Minerva leaned forward until their lips were but a breath apart.

Hermione breathed out, "I have always loved you."

Minerva's heart fluttered and she felt a wave of happiness, contentment, and love.  
>She pressed her lips against Hermione's, slowly, softly, barely making contact.<p>

Hermione responded just as gently, moving her lips slowly against Minerva's.

Minerva tasted Hermione's coffee; Hermione detected the gravy and cigarettes.

Minerva pulled back and held Hermione's hands. Both silently looked into each other's eyes, the emerald and brown speaking volumes.

Minerva broke the silence, her Gaelic voice making Hermione's heart melt.  
>"See you tonight then?"<p>

Hermione smiled and said, "Tonight."

Minerva nodded and turned to leave, but Hermione reached forward and grabbed her hand.

Minerva spun around and felt Hermione's lips against her own.

"I love you, Minerva," she said against her lips.

"And I love you- so much."

Minerva smiled and squeezed Hermione's hand.

"Until tonight, my dear..."

Xxxxx

_A/N: OKAY, GUYS! They're together! (:__  
><em>_But they aren't just going to jump in bed, either. There are a lot of layers to this, too. Hope everyone is happy, and I hope everyone enjoyed!__  
><em>_Keep the reviews coming! (:_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: thanks for all your feedback, and keep the reviews coming! Enjoy!_

Hermione could barely focus all day long. She went through the motions of teaching, encouraging her students here and there; but her mind kept replaying the sight of Minerva's breathtaking eyes, and her lips were still hot from their gentle kiss.

When the clock finally sounded for lunch, Hermione found that she couldn't bring herself to go into the Great Hall.

Instead of going, she turned around and went back into her chamber.

Rose and Hugo were sitting on the floor, listening intently to a house elf, Rudy, that was teaching them.

When she walked in they both turned to greet her, but she pressed a finger to her lips and motioned for them to keep learning.

She walked into her bedroom and pulled out a quill and parchment and began writing to Ginny.

_Ginny,___

_You're not going to believe this- but I think I'm seeing someone. And it's a woman. She's a professor here. I think we've loved each other forever, but we didn't say anything. I don't know how this will work out, but I'm taking a chance. I want to be happy again.___

_Love,___

_Hermione___

Without a second thought, she banished the letter to the owlry.

Xxxx

Minerva forced her mind to stay focused on the accounting papers, but so far she hadn't been successful. Three hours later and she was barely halfway done with the stack in front of her.

She kept smelling Hermione's sweet smell... Felt her fingers, her cheek, her lips...

She glanced at the clock- it was almost time for lunch.

Groaning at her lack of accomplishment, she stood up and stretched, her neck and back protesting against the movement.

She smiled- she'd be seeing Hermione.

She quickly put on her outer robe and hurried downstairs. She passed several students in the hallway, all greeting her as she passed. She nodded in return and continued pacing towards the Great Hall.

She rounded the corner and peered through the door.

She frowned. Hermione's seat remained empty.

She entered anyway, trying to regain the happiness she had just felt.

"Minerva,"

"Filius, good morning?"

"Indeed, however, I had a visit from Kingsley today."

Minerva rolled her eyes, "Did you now? What have I done this time?"

"Since your Gargoyle is sensitive to your moods and sentiments, it denied Kingsley access to your office this morning."

Minerva chuckled- being Head had its perks. "And what did he have to say to you?"

"Precious little, actually, but he gave me this letter to give to you."

Minerva raised her eyebrow and took the letter. Using her knife she slit the wax seal and began reading.

_Minerva,___

_I fear that my quick words blinded my better judgment. I do not believe you are guilty of anything other than over working. You are a formidable witch, and I do hope we can remain on the same side. Perhaps a meeting soon to discuss matters?___

_Yours,__  
><em>_K. Shaklebolt__  
><em>_Minister of Magic__  
><em>  
>Minerva smirked and burned the letter.<p>

"Not good?"

"No, it was fine, but he's so arrogant he can't even write I'm sorry. But don't worry my dear- everything is fine."

Filius nodded and resumed eating his soup.

Minerva looked down at her plate, but nothing really looked good. She wrote a quick note to the kitchen, and a few moments later a bowl of fresh fruit appeared in front of her.

Stabbing an apple, she allowed her mind to drift to tonight. She couldn't wait.

Xxxxx

About midway through the afternoon, Hermione felt her heart begin to pound and her body grow hot with anxiety and panic.

Why had she told Ginny that she was dating a woman?

What was Hermione doing? What would her parents say? What would Ginny say?

No, no, no, no, no... She couldn't be with a woman... My god, it went against everything she'd grown up with...

She could feel the heat spreading across her chest, neck, and head. She felt like she was going to have a heart attack.

She felt like she couldn't breathe. She couldn't date Minerva. This had to end. She wanted to take it all back.

She felt like her mind was on fire with panic. She moved to her desk and tried to act like she was writing something important.

_Ginny,___

_About my letter earlier, I was joking. ___

_Forget my letter earlier, it was a passing fancy __  
><em>  
>She couldn't come up with anything. Thankfully, the clock chimed to end afternoon classes.<p>

She ran into her room and straight to her bathroom. She turned on the cold water to try to stop the panic attack forming inside her. The tears flowed out, and she wished that she could take back everything that happened that morning.

Xxxx

Minerva only had two classes left to do accounting for. All day of hunching over her desk finally paid off.

She looked at her ashtray- she'd only smoked three cigarettes today. Good Minerva, she thought to herself.

She picked up her outer robe and put on her signature hat. Exiting, she walked quickly to the Great Hall. She couldn't wait to see Hermione.

She entered, only to once again be disappointed by Hermione's absence.

What in the world? Why had she missed two meals?

She entered and moved to her chair. Filius saw her distress and said, "Don't worry, she sent me a note saying she wanted to be with the children."

Minerva felt selfish. Of course Hermione would choose her children. They only shared a kiss- nothing more.

But just to be sure, Minerva decided to drop by Hermione's room later anyway.

Xxxx

Hermione sat on the sofa with her cup of tea. She bundled herself in a blanket and watched Rose attempting to teach Hugo a cartwheel.

She had written to Filius to say she wouldn't be at dinner, but she felt guilty for her false excuse. Sure, she wanted to be with Rose and Hugo, but she couldn't say that for every meal.

She still felt that heated panic in her chest. What if Minerva hadn't meant the kiss in that way? She had said she loved Minerva... Why had she done that?

God, she wanted to take the whole thing back and stop herself from falling for the most iconic Witch in England.

Rose broke Hermione's thoughts. "Mama, I think me an' Hugo is ready for bed."

Hugo nodded, "I yawning, Mama."

Hermione unwrapped herself, placed her tea on the table and walked them to the bathroom.

"Teeth brushed then pee."

They nodded and did as they were told, eyes drooping and feet shuffling from their sleepy state.

Hermione tucked Hugo in first, then Rose.

She closed their doors and resumed her seat on the couch. Picking up her tea, she tossed ideas in her head about what to say to Minerva.

Hermione heard a faint noise behind her, and she saw the distinctive markings on the Tabby Cat.

Hermione whipped around so she wouldn't face Minerva. She heard the slight swish of her returning from her Animagus.

"Hermione?"

"Yeah, hi." Well that was stupid.

"Are you alright?" Minerva moved into Hermione's peripheral vision, and Hermione bolted up and moved away from her, not wanting to face the emerald eyes.

"I'm fine, just tired, you know wanting to be with Rose and Hugo."

Minerva stood frozen, staring at Hermione's back.

"Have I done something to you?"

Hermione looked at her feet, "I can't do this... I can't love a woman... I can't love you..."

Xxxx

Minerva placed one hand on her hip, the other across her face and sighed sadly. She knew what Hermione was going through- she'd felt the same way so many years ago when she had admitted to Grania that she was with Miranda.

It was kind of like... Well, smoking. Once you had done it, you couldn't take it back, not really, anyway.

"Ok, then. So don't." Minerva replied.

Hermione finally faced her. "What?"

"Don't view me as anything but a mentor and colleague."

"But earlier...?"

"Can be easily forgotten if that is what you wish, my dear."

Hermione sighed and turned away.

Minerva felt sick. Why had she said that? She loved Hermione, always had. Why couldn't she just run to the younger woman and kiss her and pour the love into every moment?

Minerva turned to leave. "We'll resume lessons tomorrow night, then."

"Minerva, wait!" Hermione cried.

She stopped but didn't turn around. "Yes?"

"We're still friends, right?"

Minerva replied, "Of course," and exited the room.

When she reached the corridor she transformed back into her animagus and sprinted to the North Lawn.

Upon arriving at her favorite spot, she summoned a cloak and her cigarettes.

Lighting one, she gazed at the lake, allowing the tears to flow from her eyes.

Stupid of her, really, to imagine that Hermione could actually love her.

Minerva was... Decades older than her. She shouldn't have kissed her this morning- it violated all her rules she'd set up for herself.

She took a drag, remembering Miranda's cruel words from so long ago.

_"You're worthless. You're nothing. And no one will ever love you."_

Xxxx 

_A/N: and yeah, so I put in more angst (: no worries, it'll be happy in the end, promise._


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: my darling readers... Do not fret! All in good time, my lovely children! (: This might be a difficult chapter, some abuse. The ending will be fluffier than the last, I PROMISE! _

Hermione awoke the next day feeling worse than she had he previous morning.

She hated herself for saying that to Minerva. She loved her, had always loved her. But she was so damn scared about everyone else she'd put herself last- again.

She heard a tapping noise in the den, and she quickly donned her boots and robe and made her way towards the sound.

Spotting Ginny's owl, her stomach curled into a knot of anxiety. Oh god. The letter.

With shaky hands, Hermione opened the window and took the letter. Apparently tired, Ginny's owl flew in and rested on the owl stand beside the window. Hermione walked to the coffee table and grabbed a small treat for the owl.

Sitting on the sofa, her heartbeat grew rapid, and her hands shook as she opened the letter.

_Hermione,_

_Goddamn, it's about time you started seeing McGonagall. I mean, really, darling, the looks you gave each other all through those last years... Who didn't know you loved her?_

_Now, knowing you, I'm going to guess that you've already had a panic attack._

Hermione dropped the letter in surprise. How on earth would Ginny guess that? She smiled, God, what a good friend she had.

_Now, knowing you, I'm going to guess that you've already had a panic attack. I'm also going to ponder that you told McGonagall that you can't date._

_As your friend, I'm going to be frank- everyone knows you love her. We've known forever. You aren't shocking anyone._

_Stop putting yourself last._

_Follow your heart, be happy for once._

_Go make things right, ya hear?_

_I love ya, sister_

_Ginny_

Hermione cried and hugged the letter to her chest. Then she felt sick. What if Minerva wouldn't take her back?

This was the second time she'd left her... And she knew the Headmistress wasn't one for additional chances.

Xxxxx

Minerva hadn't left her office in two... No, make that three days.

She could bring herself to see Hermione. Not after that rejection, again.

She had cancelled their Transfiguration lessons every night, claiming some pressing matter or another.

Truth was, Minerva was heartbroken, and with the packs she was going through, she was just about lung broken too.

Albus appeared in his frame, looking sadly down and Minerva.

"I'm sorry, my dearest Minerva."

Minerva looked away. "I am too." Her voice was rough and hoarse, and very Scottish.

"But I don't think it's over."

Minerva laughed without any trace of humor, "You think so, Albus? You're the one who wanted me to talk to her and now it's all over."

"It's not."

"Well she isn't here now, is she?"

Minerva stubbed out her cigarette and made her way behind her desk.

"At least I've gotten my work done."

"At the expense of your health, my dear. Have you eaten?"

Minerva picked up a plate of half eaten ginger newts. "I'm practically wallowing in my food intake."

"Minerva..."

Minerva sat down, beaten, and cried. "I love her, Albus. I love her, I have always loved her! I want her so much it scares me. She is all I think about. I worry about her nonstop and she fills my dreams. I want to hold her hand and tell her that everything will be alright. I love her."

Minerva propped her arm on the desk, dropped her face in her head, and sobbed for all she was worth. Her chest heaved and she felt like her very soul was being poured out of her emerald eyes.

Xxxx

Hermione had noticed Minerva's absence. Her eyes were the first she looked for, her Gaelic voice the one her ears longed to hear.

She hadn't said anything the first day. She got that Minerva needed space. Hermione needed space.

The second day, Hermione was worried, but she still didn't want to press. Filius just shook his head at her questioning look, "I don't know anything, Hermione. None of us do."

Hermione had felt guilty... Horrid, racking guilt.

The third day, Hermione couldn't handle it. She was about to implode from the anxiety. She was getting the kids ready to take them for their weekend visit to Molly and Arthur when Ron's figure burst from the Floo. Immediately Hermione put a silencing charm around them.

"What is wrong with you?"

"Me? I haven't done anything!"

"Going around, being with McGonagall in front of our children!"

Hermione couldn't speak. How could Ron know? Unless… "YOU'VE BEEN INTERCEPTING MY MAIL!"

"AND I'M BLOODY GLAD OF IT TOO! What is wrong with you? You can't date a woman!"

Hermione felt her anxiety burst into anger. "Says who? Says my lousy ex-husband who can't even hold his liquor? Who gets FINED by the ministry because of his actions? Screw you Ron!"

Ron marched forward, "You don't know anything about me!"

"Obviously not, but it's obvious that you don't know me either."

"What are you playing at? Why would you date that old bag?"

Hermione's eyes flared and her voice became hard and mean, "She. Is. Not. An. Old. Bag. She is a beautiful, gorgeous woman whom I have loved for years! And she is better than you in every single way! She's brilliant, smart, brave, strong, and absolutely amazing! You don't even compare to Minerva!"

At this, Ron sprang forward, grabbing Hermione's arms roughly, most likely leaving bruises on her upper arm. "Take it back!"

Hermione struggled in his grasp. "Let me go!"

"Take it back!"

"You're nothing to me, Ron! And you won't be anything to our children either!"

Ron released her violently, causing Hermione to fall back against the coffee table, the glass and wood shattering and splintering painfully into her back.

Ron stood, shocked at his rage and Hermione's apparent injuries. He'd really screwed up this time.

"Hermione…"

Hermione flashed her eyes angrily towards him, silencing him and freezing him to the spot. "Don't move."

Hermione tried to sit up, but when she placed her hand on the floor a shard of glass stuck painfully into her palm. Wincing, she put weight on it anyway, and pulled herself up. As she rose she felt pain rip through her back. She guess she'd torn a muscle, had bruises, and had tons of glass in her back. She looked down, and spots of blood were mingling with the debris on the floor. Too shocked to cry, she quickly fixed the table and put a glamour charm over her body.

"Hermione… I'm… My god."

Hermione narrowed her eyes, her mind becoming blurry from the pain. She knew she'd pass out if she didn't do something quickly.

"Sadie!"

The house elf appeared. "Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Please see that my children are taken to my parent's house. Make sure Ronald is taken to the Ministry and goes straight to Harry, and please transport me to Minerva's rooms."

Sadie looked hesitate, "Mistress is busy…"

"She will want to see me, trust me."

Sadie nodded and snapped her fingers.

Hermione felt her stomach jerk and in a burst of light she was in Minerva's office.

Hermione stared into Minerva's emerald eyes and promptly fainted… falling to the floor… Glamour charm disappearing… Glass and blood mingling with Minerva's white carpet….

Xxxxxx

Minerva felt her world stop at seeing Hermione. One second she was peering into Hermione's dark eyes, the next she saw Hermione fall to the ground. Her back was littered with blood and glass, and the cuts looked deep and fresh.

"My god." Minerva pushed her tears aside and went to Hermione.

Casting a quick diagnostic spell, she accessed that Hermione had deep contusions on her lower back, three bruised vertebrae, along with 78 cuts across her back and 53 glass fragments embedded, including a nasty one on her hand.

She cast a spell to remove Hermione's shirt, exposing the hurt flesh beneath. She cast another quick spell to numb Hermione's back, Minerva began painstakingly withdrawing the individual shards- she couldn't risk pushing one deeper or cutting Hermione's skin more.

About fifteen minutes later, she finished withdrawing the last piece of glass. She summoned from her stores a bottle of healing potion. She poured the liquid gently onto Hermione's back, the wounds smoking slightly then healing with only the faintest line that would be gone in a week or so.

As the cuts healed, Minerva noticed the bruises taking form on her back and arms. The ones on the arms looked like hand prints. Minerva's own arms had looked like that far too many times…

And her back looked as if Hermione had been slammed into a railing.

Minerva removed the rest of Hermione's clothes and wrapped her in a soft, cotton robe.

She reached down and held her hand, apparating them to Minerva's bedroom.

She laid Hermione down on the bed and transfigured a chair beside her. Grabbing onto her hand, she stroked the soft skin she had just healed… Wanting desperately to make it all better, and wanting to kill whoever had done this to her.

Xxxxx

Hermione awoke the next day in unfamiliar, yet completely comforting surroundings. She glanced over to see Minerva silently reading a book beside her.  
>She tried to sit up and felt a painful pull in her back, and she groaned in pain.<p>

Minerva's eyes snapped up and she placed her book on the floor. Gently pushing Hermione back on the bed, she laced her fingers in Hermione's. "How are you, my dear."

"Tired. Hurting. In pain."

Minerva nodded, "You gave me quite the scare, my dear."

Hermione looked at Minerva, "I'm so sorry."

Minerva was about to protest, but she realized Hermione's double meaning. "My darling, don't..."

Hermione tightened her hand around Minerva's. "I love you. I love you so much. I'm so sorry for saying I didn't..."

Minerva walked around the bed and slid in beside Hermione, wrapping her arm around Hermione's stomach, the other arm gently intertwining with Hermione's their fingers lacing.

Hermione leaned into Minerva and breathed in her sweet smell... Roses, parchment, and smoke.

"Hermione, I wasn't honest with you either."

Hermione gazed into Minerva's eyes... The emerald was so perfect...

"When I was studying with Grania for my Master, I was dating a woman named Miranda. She was the most alluring woman I had ever met. She was charming, smart, pretty. But she was... Unstable, to say the least."

Hermione noticed the change in her voice and nestled closer.

"She was bipolar, manic depressive, and a mean, mean drunk. Her chemical imbalances were managed for a couple of years, and we went regularly to St. Mungos' for treatment. But then her brother died and... She went off the handle."

"What happened?"

Minerva swallowed hard. "She started drinking. Stopped treatment. And started using the Cruciatus curse against me after every argument."

"Oh Minerva!" Hermione, despite the pain, rolled on her side and wrapped Minerva in a hug.

Minerva returned the hug and gently eased Hermione back. "Don't hurt your back."

Hermione nodded and resumed her position beside Minerva.

"Well, she did that for a year, and I learned how to brace myself enough to not get hurt. But one day she lost it. She had been binge drinking- it was the anniversary of her brother's death. She walked in after an all nighter and I was wearing a gift from Grania...

... She was always jealous. And this time she was furious. She hit me with the curse and my back broke and I fractured my skull. I nearly died. I would have if Grania hadn't found me."

Minerva turned away.

Hermione raised herself up and pulled Minerva towards her into a hug.

"Thank you for telling me."

"I'm sorry I didn't say anything before..."

Hermione shook her head. "I know."

Minerva leaned against the headboard. "Now you tell. What happened to you last night?"

Hermione laid down beside Minerva, resting her head on her thigh. "Your bed is huge."

"Thank you."

Hermione closed her eyes. "Last night I was getting Rose and Hugo ready to go to Molly's. Before we left, Ron showed up and we fought. He had grabbed my arms... And he shoved me into the coffee table..."

"Oh my dear..."

"I got up and cleaned it, then I called Sadie to make sure Ron went to Harry and the kids to the Burrow."

"What do you think Harry will do?"

"I think he's a better judge of Ron's actions and mental state than I am."

"So you don't think it was on purpose?"

Hermione sighed, inwardly struggling with what she believed.

"No, I don't. I think he snapped... I think that we have both kept a lot inside, but I think he hasn't dealt with it and doesn't know how."

Minerva stroked Hermione's hair, "Always the voice of reason."

Hermione laughed. "Not really, but I don't want Ron to spiral out of control completely. Rose and Hugo need him."

Minerva nodded, silently vowing to speak to Mr. Weasley himself. Conscious act of violence or not, his actions made her whole body burn with anger.

"He was mad about us."

"I figured, but how do you feel now?"

Hermione raised her hand, running her fingers through Minerva's hair. Hermione rose up and kissed Minerva.

It was gentle like before, but this time, Hermione and Minerva moved their lips in tandem, both seeking to show the depth of need and love in that one simple action.

"I love you."

Minerva kissed her again. "And I love you, too."

"Stay with me?"

And in that intoxicating Scottish voice, Minerva breathed out "Always, my darling, always."

Xxxxx

_A/N: Told ya it would end better! I know it's another tough chapter, but I promise it gets happier. Also, this was going to be 15 chapters, but I'm thinking about leaving it open to more... What do you all think?___

_Also, would anyone like me to write some one-shots?___

_Thanks my dears! R and R!__  
><em>


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: I apologize to everyone for the delay, but life has been super crazy and insane… I hope everyone enjoys!_

Hermione sat on the sofa, leaning gently against fluffy pillows and drinking chamomile tea that Minerva had prepared for her. She had her legs stretched out and over Minerva's, and Minerva's graceful hands were gently stroking her shins.

They didn't speak… They knew what the other was feeling- anticipation at what they knew would come next: a ministry visit.

Minerva stared into the fire, wondering when it would come to life. Hermione looked into her mug, wondering how she was going to explain what exactly had taken place.

When the Floo finally activated, it wasn't Kingsley's large figure that came ambling out, it was Harry's lanky and comforting form.

"Hermione…" he breathed out, rushing towards her and placing a gentle kiss on the top of her head. He summoned a chair and sat beside his friend.

He looked at the formidable Headmistress, eyes calculating just how close she and Hermione actually were. "Professor, how are you?"

"Fine, but anxious to hear what you have to say."

Harry nodded, "but first I want to hear Hermione's side of the story."

Hermione looked into Minerva's eyes, and Minerva gave her a small nod to continue.

Breathing deeply, Hermione launched into her story, "I don't know what happened. We were fighting and he got angry and grabbed my arms… and when he let me go I fell backwards into the table and shattered the wood and glass… and I told him to go to you and I sent the kids away… "

Harry nodded and looked at Minerva, "and she came to you?"

Minerva nodded and replied, "Yes, my house elf apparated her here, and upon arriving she passed out. I removed the glass from her back and hand and made sure she didn't have any other serious injuries. Then I let her sleep while the healing potions took effect."

Harry looked at his hands. "Ron is saying that it was his fault. I made him take out his memory so I could watch it in the pensieve, but the whole thing was foggy and corrupted. Apparently he's been downing pain potions every day, and when he went to see you he'd already had twelve doses."

Minerva gasped, "Twelve! You aren't supposed to take more than two a day! Four if you are gravely injured!"

Hermione looked away and reached out a hand to join Minerva's.

Harry gave a sad nod. "I know. I told him that he was out of control and needed help. After a couple of attempts to knock me out, he finally relented and let me take him to St. Mungo's. The doctor said that the pain potion upset his brain chemicals- that's why his mood has been altered. But apparently he's been taking them for about seven years, which is why the change in his personality has been so great."

Hermione started crying and Minerva's hand tightened around hers. "That's when we got married." She breathed out.

Harry nodded. "I know. I'm sorry Hermione, but he's being treated. They said it's not permanent."

Hermione looked at Harry, "I can't love him."

"I know."

Harry stood up. "I need to go back to the Ministry, but I wanted to hear what you had to say too. Molly and Arthur said they want to see you soon, and they are devastated by what has happened, too."

Hermione smiled. "Thanks, Harry."

"Always."

With a nod to Minerva, he dropped the powder into the fireplace and disappeared.

Minerva rose and sat in Harry's vacated seat. "What are you thinking, my dear?"

"I'm thinking this is all my fault."

Minerva leaned in and kissed her cheek. "It is not your fault. You did not make him take those potions."

"But I feel like I did."

Minerva leaned her head on Hermione's. "I know, my darling, but you didn't. I promise."

Hermione leaned into Minerva and cried. "What do I tell my children?"

"Only what they must know."

"What does that even mean?"

"That he's gone away for a while and will be back soon."

Hermione looked at Minerva with shock in her eyes, "But then I'd be lying to them!"

Minerva shook her head, "Simply an equivocation, my dear. And sometimes they are necessary when two precious lives are in consideration."

"I want them here with me."

Minerva squeezed her hand and rose up. "I'll go get them."

Hermione started to protest, but Minerva cut her off. "I want to. I promise."

Hermione tilted her head up and Minerva kissed her gently. "I'll be back in a few, promise."

Minerva threw the powder into the flames, and with a green flash, she was gone.

Xxxx

Minerva stepped out of the Floo grate of an abandoned London apartment. Actually, it only had the appearance of being abandoned. The Ministry had kept the ramshackle little flat so that witches and wizards could easily access muggle London in a safe house.

Minerva changed her emerald robes into long, silk black slacks and a long emerald tunic. She transfigured some sand into a silver silk scarf and headed out into the street.

After walking for about ten minutes, she approached a small town house that she remembered from some twenty years ago.

The house had an air of being lived in, that one could be safe in there and never have the need to leave.

Minerva walked up the steps and knocked on the door.

After a couple moments, it was opened by Jean Granger. She had aged since Minerva had last seen her, but she still looked good.

"Mrs. Granger, I don't know if you remember me…"

"Of course I do! You're a professor at Hogwarts, right? You talked to us when Hermione got accepted."

Minerva smiled, "Yes, I did."

"Please come in."

"Thank you." Minerva walked in and stood to the side while Jean closed the door. Jean turned around and crossed her arms.

"What exactly happened last night, Professor? It's not like Hermione to just send the kids with no explanation."

"Minerva, please. And I think we ought to sit down, first."

Jean nodded and walked through the foyer into the den and sat on the couch, motioning for Minerva to sit with her.

"Is your husband home?"

"No, he and the children are out at the park."

Minerva nodded, "Well then I'll just tell you and let you relay the story."

Jean agreed and leaned forward, assuming a listening position that had passed down to her daughter.

"Before I tell you what happened, I want you to know that I care deeply for Hermione. I have always loved her, even as a student, and you must know that I would never allow her to be harmed."

Jean peered into Minerva's eyes, as if judging her words. "Alright."

Minerva took a deep breath. "Ronald has been abusing pain potions for some time."

"Pain potions? You mean like…?"

"Equivalent to a muggle's addiction to a pain medication- like a vicodin or oxycodone."

"Ok…"

"Well, it seems that Ronald has been taking them for some time. The effects of muggle pain medicine abuse are similar to abusing pain potions. Though pain potions are not addictive, when taken in high doses it begins to alter and affect one's personality. Some people truly do function better with high doses of pain potions, but generally speaking it had some seriously negative effects."

"And Ron's affects…"

"Were negative. It seems that the potions have caused a chemical imbalance in his brain, resulting in personality change, namely in heightened aggression and anger."

"Did Hermione know about this?"

"No. She just found out this morning from Harry."

"And how long had Ron been taking the potions?"

"For roughly seven years."

Jean bowed her head, as if connecting a very difficult puzzle piece. "So that's what happened in their marriage."

"I'm going to assume that it was a significant contributing factor."

"And last night he snapped?"

Minerva nodded sadly. "Yes, he and Hermione got into and argument and he lost his temper. He pushed her back into a coffee table, and she acquired some serious cuts on her back and hand, and she also sustained several bruises and a pulled muscle."

"That bastard…"

Minerva leaned forward and took Jean's hand. "I agree. However, due to the discovery of his potion abuse, I do know that he was not fully control of his actions, and both Hermione and I think that he did not come to her rooms that night with the intent of hurting her."

"That doesn't make it any better."

"No, it doesn't, but it does mean that Ron is going to have a long road to recovery. And Hermione will too. But this just proves that Hermione didn't do anything to cause the end of her marriage. I think Ron did that all by himself."

Jean buried her face in her hands. "How could Hermione not have known?"

"Sometimes we see what we wish was true instead of what actually lies before us."

"And how is Hermione now?"

"Healed but still tired. I told her to stay in bed and rest and I would pick up the children and take care of them while she rested."

Jean nodded. "Are you going to talk to Ron?"

"He's staying in St. Mungo's for treatment. I'm going to stop by tonight and give him a visit. The pain potions should be out of his system by now."

"How long will he have to stay?"

Minerva thought about it. "Hard to say. It's mandatory for any violent person under the influence of personality-altering potions or spells that they consumed or performed with consent that are turned into the Ministry must stay in treatment for a month minimum. Depending on how much the drugs have altered Ron, he may stay longer."

Jean lifted her eyes to Minerva. "And what will the kids know?"

"Nothing that they don't need to."

Jean nodded in understanding. She knew what it meant to protect their loved ones from painful news.

From the foyer they heard the door creak and the sound of little feet pattering on the floor.

Minerva turned to see Rose and Hugo stop through the door.

"Minerva!" "Erva!"

They both ran forward and hugged the Headmistress around her neck, and both of them began talking at once.

"You shoulda seen my butterflies yesterday…"

"… Da stars be brighter last night dan befur…"

Minerva laughed. "One at a time, my darlings."

Rose gently nudged Hugo's arm, signaling him to start first.

"Last night… da stars be brighter! Dey was shootin cross da top!"

"That was a meteor shower, my dear."

"Cool!"

"And what did you see, my Rose?"

"My butterflies were flying in patterns and shapes. They were sparkling and dancing!"

"Did the blue one do funny tricks?"

Rose opened her eyes in awe. "How did you know that?"

Minerva leaned in and confidentially whispered, "The blue one is my favorite, but don't tell the others."

Rose placed her index finger on her lips- a sure sign of their secret exchange. "Promise."

"Now, I think you two need to go see your mother."

"She lefted us …" came Hugo's small voice.

"No, my darling lad, she didn't. She just felt really sick and didn't want you to catch it."

"So she's okay?" Rose asked.

"She is, and she is waiting to see you."

Hugo ran over and tugged on Jean's sweater. Jean had moved from the couch to stand beside her husband, Carl, and during Minerva's exchange with the children she had filled him in on what had happened to their daughter.

"Meema, Is its okay if Erva takes me to mommy?"

"Yes my darling." She said, stroking his messy hair.

Hugo dashed over and grabbed Rose's hand, and they disappeared upstairs to grab their toys.

Carl and Jean stepped close to Minerva.

"Thank you for looking after Hermione, " Carl whispered.

"You're welcome."

"And Jean said you'd speak to Ron? Should I?"

Minerva thought about it for a moment. "Yes, I am going to see him, but I do not think it would be wise for you to go with me. Though I feel strongly for Hermione, I do not view Ronald in the same light as you do. You see him as the man who married your baby. I see him as a former student that was always in trouble."

Carl nodded. "You're right. But you will…?"

"I assure you, I will."

Carl and Jean turned as Rose and Hugo dashed into the room, toys in their respective bags.

"Ready!" They both cried.

Minerva leaned in and hugged Jean, then reached out and shook Carl's hand. "When she is rested, I will make sure she comes here."

"Thank you."

Minerva nodded and took the children's free hands. "Ready for our little trip?"

They both nodded. Jean walked in front of them and opened the door. "Thank you again, Minerva."

"Always." And with a smile, Minerva walked off the steps, Rose and Hugo in tow.

They had walked a block before Hugo begged to be picked up. Minerva was surprised he'd made it that long. By the time they had reached the apartment, Hugo was fast asleep in her arms.

As they approached the door, Rose squeezed Minerva's hand. "I don't want to go in there."

"Why, my dear? I promise there isn't anything bad in there."

"It looks haunted."

"But Hogwarts is haunted."

Rose narrowed her eyes. "But they are nice ghosts."

"And what makes you think the ghosts in there aren't?"

Rose thought about it. "I guess your right." And she marched forward and opened the door.

Minerva reached in her pocket and grabbed her wand, instantly changing her muggle clothes into her robes again.

"Minerva! How did you do that!"

Minerva chuckled. She loved it when simple magic could spark such awe.

"Like this."

Minerva flicked her wand and Rose's overalls changed into a pink "princess" dress.

"Oh again!"

Minerva flicked her wand again and the pink dress transformed into light yellow and deep purple robes that looked like Minerva's own. "I look like you!"

"So you do, my dear."

Rose twirled around. "What about a pair of pink overalls?"

Minerva nodded and flicked her wrist.

"And green wellies?"

Minerva laughed at the combination but still flicked her wrist to give the girl what she wanted.

"Anything else before we go home?"

Rose thought. "Can you make Hugo a shirt with a train on it? He outgrew his old one."

Minerva's heart melted. What a good sister Rose was. "I think I can do that."

With another small flick, a train appeared on the front of Hugo's green shirt. "It'll be a surprise for when he wakes up, right Rose?"

Rose nodded and took Minerva's hand.

Minerva threw the powder in the flames. In a flash, their bodies apparated, molding and twisting in the blink of an eye… traveling at the speed of light through the crisp English air.

_A/N: I'm sorry this update took so long, but I hope everyone enjoys!_


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: To make up for the week without an update, I'm going to do another one. Maybe that's one good thing about not having a car… you suddenly have hours of free time to write! Enjoy everyone, and thank you for your endless support.

When Minerva threw the Floo into the fire, she decided it would be wise to transport the children to their own rooms in the event Hermione was still asleep.

When they arrived back at Hogwarts, Rose and Hugo dashed into their rooms to drop of their bags and take out their boxes from Minerva.

As soon as they were done they dashed back into the den area and jumped on the sofa beside Minerva.

"Can you look at my butterflies?"

"Yes, and then we'll look at Hugo's stars, alright?"

Rose nodded in agreement. She carefully lifted the lid and the butterflies flew out. Rose and Hugo giggled and squealed in excitement, their legs swinging and hands clapping in delight.

"Now watch this." Minerva said. She raised her wand and gave it two flicks.

Instantly the butterflies began moving, and they formed the perfect letters: _R__O__S__E_in Minerva's distinct handwriting.

"ME!" Hugo cried, tugging at Minerva's robe.

Minerva kissed his head, "As you wish." And with another flick they formed _H__U__G__O._

Hugo laughed in delight. "Do sumfin else!" He cried. "Yeah!" came Rose's agreement.

Minerva laughed and flicked her wand again, and the butterflies began making brilliant shapes… first a star, then a circle with patterns on the inside, then a flower.

"Now watch the blue one." Minerva whispered.

Instantly the blue butterfly started leading the group into complicated twists and turns.

"It looks like a roller coaster!" Rose exclaimed.

"A what?" Minerva asked.

"A roller coaster… a ride?" Rose gave Minerva a funny look, like she ought to understand what she was saying.

_Ah,__a__Muggle__invention..._ Minerva connected the link. "Forgive me, my darling Rose, I am getting old."

Rose gave Minerva a stern look very similar to that of her mother's. "You are not old."

Minerva laughed and pulled the girl into a hug, "Well thank you, my darling. Now, you try."

Rose's eyes went wide with surprise and a hint of fear. "I can't do magic!"

Minerva wrapped one arm around Rose's small frame, the other placed the wand in her small hand. "You can. You have magic inside you."

"Really?"

"Yes. Now, gently flick your wrist, like this."

Minerva placed her hand on top of Rose's and flicked her wrist. Instantly the butterflies changed into a heart.

"It's a love!" Rose exclaimed.

"It's a heart." Minerva gently corrected.

Rose shook her head. "No it's not. When I flicked my wrist, in my mind I thought 'I love you,' cause I love you, Minerva! So it made a love!"

Minerva wrapped Rose into a tight hug. "Thank you, my darling. That means the world."

Hugo tapped her arm. "Stars?"

Minerva nodded. "Rose, if you would be so kind…"

Rose turned and opened the box. "My butterflies come home." And in an instant the butterflies zoomed back into the small box.

"Alright, Hugo, you're turn. But first, let's lay on the floor, shall we?"

They both nodded vigorously in agreement and Minerva transfigured the coffee table into a large mattress so they could lie on top of it.

When they were all settled- Rose and Hugo both tucked securely on either side of Minerva- Hugo opened his box of stars.

Minerva flicked her wrist and the fireplace extinguished, and the room went dark. The stars arranged themselves, and when they had reached their proper position they began to sparkle and shine.

The faint lines of the zodiac symbols began to appear, and Minerva pointed them out to them.

"There is Aries in the corner there- see the horns?… and on that side is Pisces the fish… "

Rose and Hugo looked up with glassy eyes, absorbing the constellations.

"Now, we three are very similar. Do you know why, my darlings?"

Both of them shook their head.

"We are all Leos- the Lion." She flicked her wand so that the stars making the Leo would illuminate brightest.

"Do you know why Leos are so special?"

They shook their heads again.

"Godric Gryffindor was a Leo, too. That's why the Gryffindor house is a Lion. Godric was a fearless leader and a brilliant wizard."

"Like yous?" Hugo asked.

Minerva smiled and kissed his head. "Thank you, my lad, but I am nothing like Godric. I am only Headmistress."

"Mama tinks yous is." Hugo replied.

Minerva's heart melted. "I think your mother's wonderful too."

Rose sat up. "Then stay with us! Make Mommy happy again! We like you!"

Hugo sat up too. "I likes yous!"

Minerva picked up the box and flicked her wrist so that the stars disappeared. She wrapped her arms around the two children. "I like both of you very much, too. And don't worry- I won't be going anywhere."

"Good." Rose stated.

Minerva felt and heard Hugo's stomach rumbling. Chuckling she asked, "Are we hungry, my dears?"

They both nodded.

"Alright, then let's eat lunch, shall we?"

"Can we have Mommy too?" Rose asked.

Minerva nodded, "Yes, I'll get her."

They stood up and Minerva transfigured the mattress back into the table.

"Sadie!" Minerva called out. Instantly the elf appeared and Rose and Hugo dashed over to deliver a warm hug.

"Little ones! Sadies missed yous this mornings!"

"We missded yous toos!" Hugo exclaimed.

"Sadie, could be so kind as to bring up lunch for the children, Hermione and me? But first please watch the children for a few minutes while I go get her."

Sadie nodded, "Yes mistress."

"Be back my darlings!" Minerva waved and with a pop, she apparated into her office.

Hermione was sleeping on the sofa, her mug empty on the table,

Minerva sat gently beside her and gently rubbed her back. She whispered into her ear, "Hermione, my love…"

Hermione groaned and rolled over, her eyes barely parting. "Time…?" She asked groggily.

"Lunch, my darling."

Hermione sat up. Her eyes jerked open, "Oh my god, the kids."

Minerva placed a hand on Hermione's thigh. "All taken care of, don't worry."

Hermione closed her eyes and lay back down. "How long have I been out?"

"A couple of hours, but you needed it."

"Did they behave for you?"

"They were perfect. Just like you."

Hermione scoffed and started to turn away, but Minerva had placed her hands on her shoulders and brought their lips together.

Hermione wrapped her arms around Minerva's thin waist as long graceful fingers intertwined with Hermione's chestnut hair.

Minerva increased the tempo of the kiss, gently running her tongue across Hermione's lips.

She moaned into the kiss and arched up into Minerva's body, pressing their hips together creating sparks of pleasure down their spines.

Minerva ran one hand up her thigh, pushing her legs apart so that she could press herself against Hermione's most sensitive area.

Hermione moaned and began grinding herself against Minerva's toned thigh, creating friction and heat against her core.

When air became a need they parted, both eyes dark with desire and passion.

"Minerva…" Hermione whispered, and her lips were again covered.

Their tongues tasted each other, their hands were taking in every inch of skin… every muscle, every curve, every line…

Minerva felt her core begin to grow hot with a wanton desire, and she stopped the kiss.

"Not now…. My darling, not like this."

Hermione gazed into Minerva's eyes with a deep, lusty passion. "But I want you."

Minerva gave her a quick kiss. "And I you, but I want you properly. On my bed, after a romantic dinner, the only light coming from candles… Not on my sofa after your nap."

Hermione laughed and kissed Minerva, easing herself up into a sitting position. "Fine, fine. So what shall we do instead?"

"We have a lunch date with Rose and Hugo, they're waiting in your rooms now with Sadie."

"Oh, great, just give me a moment?"

Minerva nodded and walked over to her desk. She had a few letters that had to be taken care of, but nothing she thought couldn't wait for a few more hours.

Hermione walked into the bathroom and gave her hair a quick brush through. She started to change out of the robe Minerva had lent her, but she found herself wishing she didn't have to take it off.

It smelled like her, and every time she inhaled she felt like she was safe and at home. She pressed the soft cotton into her face, wishing she could memorize the scent and carry it with her so she'd never have to be…

"Are you trying to eat my robe? I assure you, whatever is being served for lunch is much better."

Hermione blushed, "I was… I just…"

Minerva strode across the bathroom and wrapped Hermione in a hug. "I think you want exactly what I want now."

"Which is?"

"To have something of the other… something tangible to know that you are not alone. "

Hermione smiled against Minerva. "You know me so well."

"I do."

Hermione withdrew and handed Minerva her robe. She started to feel awkward standing in just her camisole and underwear, but Minerva had already turned around and walked out.

Hermione appeared a few minutes later to find Minerva carrying a carton of cigarettes.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm starting a fire." Minerva stated.

"I thought I told you…" But her words were cut off as Minerva dumped the entire box into the fireplace, the flames instantly shooting up with the new kindling.

Minerva wiped her hands and turned to Hermione. "I think my lips will be too busy kissing you to smoke, don't you think?"

Hermione dashed over and threw her arms around her. "I love you."

"I love you too. Now, lunch?"

Hermione nodded and Minerva apparated them back to her rooms.

"Mommy!" "Mama!"

Rose and Hugo bounded forward and wrapped Hermione's legs into fierce hugs.

"Hi darlings! Have you behaved?"

They both nodded. "Yes! And Minerva played with us and taught us stuff!"

Hugo nodded in agreement with his sister. "I likes Erva!"

Hermione smiled and whispered, "I like her, too."

Rose leaned in a whispered back, "Can we keeps her?"

Hermione pursed her lips in a mock thinking pose. "I think we can do that."

"YAYYYYYY!" Rose and Hugo dashed over and wrapped Minerva into a hug. "Now yous stay heres wid us furever!" Hugo exclaimed.

"Only if you eat your vegetables at lunch."

Hugo and Rose made faces, as if weighing whether or not it was worth it. Deciding it was, they both nodded and sat down at the table.

Minerva grabbed Hermione's hand, intertwining their fingers, assuring her in the most naïve and honest way that she wasn't going anywhere.


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Thanks to everyone for the reviews… keep 'em coming! Due to the many requests, I'm not going to end this story at chapter 15 like I had originally planned… It will be longer, though I'm not quite sure how much. I'm thinking about starting a new story, too, so be sure to look out for that one (: _

_As always, enjoy my darling readers!_

After lunch, the children were full and sleepy, and they retired to their rooms for an afternoon nap.

Though Hermione was rested from her morning catnap, she could look at Minerva and see the fatigue in her eyes.

"You're tired." Hermione stated.

"I'm also breathing."

Hermione gave her a look and Minerva wrapped her into a hug. "I'm always tired, dear. What's your point?"

"I think I should go see Ron."

"Do you think that's wise this early in his treatment?"

"I think he needs to know that I don't hate him."

Minerva held Hermione close. "Shall I come with you?"

"I love you. But I think that this needs to be something I do on my own."

"I understand. But guard your heart, darling."

"I will."

Xxxxx

Hermione walked into St. Mungo's with a feeling of complete control and calm.

She shouldn't feel relief from finding out about Ron's addiction, but she did. It gave her a sense of freedom- like she truly wasn't the cause of the end of her marriage, that she wasn't a failure.

She approached the front desk. A small brunette witch was on duty.

"Name?"

"Hermione Granger."

"Here to see Mr. Weasley I presume?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Very well. Our policy doesn't allow wands in the committed ward."

Hermione nodded and handed the witch her wand.

"To get to his ward, take the elevator to the fourth floor. At the end of the hallway to the right, there will be a brick wall. The password is 'hippogriff,' but it will change in twenty minutes, so be sure that you go straight to his ward."

"I will, thank you."

The brunette nodded to Hermione and she turned and made her way into the elevator.

The gold door slid shut behind her, and she pulled the lever that indicated the fourth floor. The elevator gave a lurch, and it took of at break-neck speed, making Hermione grab onto the railing and shut her eyes.

There was another jolt and thin stillness, and Hermione opened her eyes to see the door slide open. She stepped out into the hallway and turned to the right.

As she approached the brick wall, a face appeared. "Ms. Granger, I presume?"

"Yes…"

"The front desk alerted me to your arrival. Password?"

"Hippogriff."

"Very well."

The face disappeared back into the wall and the bricks parted, much like they do in the Leaky Cauldron, revealing a stark white hall lined with doors.

Hermione took a few steps in when she saw a healer. "Excuse me, ma'am…"

The healer looked up from her parchment. "Seventh door on the right."

Hermione's face must have belied her confusion on how she knew who she was looking for.

"Golden Trio update." The healer replied unapologetically.

"Oh…" Hermione responded. Stupid, she should have known that everyone who picked up the Prophet would recognize her face- especially when she was on the hall that Ron was being treated on.

Hermione walked down the hall to Ron's room. A small tag on the door stated:

_**Weasley, Ronald**_

_**Involuntary Commitment**_

_**ID: 23d56h57a**_

She knocked on the door and held her breath. What would she say? What could she say?

Ron opened the door and he looked… well, better.

His face was shaved, his clothes were clean, his eyes were clear, and his breath was void of alcohol.

"Hi." She said.

"Hey. Come in."

Hermione walked gingerly into the door and was surprised to find a small apartment inside. It wasn't anything fancy, but it was nice.

"You wanna sit down?" He motioned to a small leather sofa against the left wall.

She nodded and sat down and he sat opposite of her in a small, matching leather chair.

"Ron…"

"No, I think I need to talk first." Not said meanly, just like someone who desperately had to get something over with.

"Alright." Hermione sat back and crossed her legs, assuming her typical listening position.

"First, how are you?"

"Fine, a little sore but the cuts are healed and they won't leave scars. I've been through worse."

"Well good."

Hermione crossed her arms and waited for Ron to say something.

Ron took a deep breath and began. "It wasn't your fault. It really wasn't. And I want you to know that to start with."

"Thank you."

"I started taking them when we were planning for the wedding because I found a letter that Fred had written mom before he died. He said that he had always wanted to be the best man in my wedding so he could set off a fire cracker in my ass."

Hermione giggled, despite the serious tone. Ron laughed a bit himself, too.

"I wouldn't expect anything less." Hermione said.

"Neither would I. But I just… started missing him, you know? He was my brother, and I wanted him there."

"I know you did."

"And when I took those pain potions… the pain just… melted, you know? And when I would drink it would numb my mind too, so I didn't feel anything. And I figured if I kept taking the potions I could get through just one more day… I never thought that just taking them tomorrow would turn into taking them for seven years, but it did."

"Ron, why on earth didn't you say something to me? We could have gotten through this together!"

"When was the last time I ever asked for help? Honestly."

"When you didn't want to do your homework."

"I mean personally."

Hermione sighed. "I see your point. But still, Ron, we could have worked through it… we could have done something, anything…"

"And now?"

Hermione looked away from him. "Ron, I don't love you anymore. Not in the way a wife should love a husband. I can't turn back time and undo the hurt you did, even if you are getting help now."

"But I still love you."

"And I love Minerva."

Ron stopped and his eyes went wide. "Who?"

"Minerva. McGonagall."

Ron looked down at his feet and thought about it. "She's good for you."

"What?"

"McGonagall. You two are just alike. You're always reading, always learning. You are both brilliant in everything except Divination. I always thought you were like a miniature of her."

Hermione laughed and covered her mouth. "Really?"

Ron smiled. "Yeah, really. Hermione?"

"Yes?"

"Are you happier now? Without me?"

Hermione thought about it for a moment. "No without you, Ron. Just apart from you. I don't think we work well together. We're like gears in a clock that don't go together."

"Oh."

"But Ron, just because we're apart doesn't mean that I'm not here for you. You are still the father of our children, and I want you to be a part of their lives. Right now you're getting better, and that's what you need to do. And this is only one small slip in your life. You will get better, and you will be a part of their lives."

"Rose hates me, doesn't she." More statement than question.

"She doesn't hate you… she just doesn't understand why you wouldn't pay her any attention."

Ron stood up and moved away, facing the opposite wall. "I'm a failure. I'm a failure as a husband, a son, a brother, and a father."

Hermione got up and wrapped her arms around Ron. "You're not. You've made some mistakes, but don't make the mistake of not learning from them. You can come back from this, you know? It's not over. It's not the end."

Ron turned around and hugged her. "You're my best friend, Hermione."

"You're my best friend, too. And I do love you."

"I know."

Hermione let go and walked to the door. "Get better, Ronald. Don't give up."

"Will you bring Rose and Hugo to see me?"

Hermione thought about it. "Not yet. I think you need more time before you see them."

Ron nodded. "Ok."

Hermione reached out and stroked his face. "Take care."

She turned and walked out, shutting the door behind her, pretending like she didn't see the tears forming in Ron's hazel eyes.

Xxxxxx

Instead of taking a nap, Minerva started making her rounds around the school. She knew she had been very distant with her colleagues and students, and she figured she needed to make everyone aware that she was still alive.

She asked Sadie to pop in and check on the children, but she knew that they'd probably be out for at least a couple of hours.

She popped into the potions classroom. The fifth years were learning how to brew a simple healing potion. A couple of students had managed to make something that resembled a squashed pumpkin. Another was producing a really horrid smell that made Minerva's keen nose recoil. There was one student in the corner, Jordan, who had managed to make the potion properly.

She silently left the classroom and continued upstairs.

The next room on her parchment was Defense Against the Dark Arts. The first years were practicing Depulso on wooden barrels. A few of them managed to move the barrels, most just left little dents in the wood.

One student, Elizabeth Whitehall, a Ravenclaw, was making herself out to be the best witch of her class. She came running up to Minerva, "Good Morning Headmistress!"

"And you to, Miss Whitehall. I trust your marks are still excellent?"

"Yes ma'am, perfect scores!"

"Good, now get back to class, I don't want Professor Handel getting mad at me."

"Yes ma'am."

Minerva patted her shoulder and sent her back on her way and exited the classroom.

As she walked into the hallway, she glanced at the clock and realized the next Transfiguration class started in twenty minutes. Since Hermione had taken a couple of days off, the class had simply been taken over by Koloreen, a ghost in the castle that had a particular gift for Transfiguration during her life.

Minerva walked into her classroom to find it had remained mostly the same since Hermione had been teaching. Smiling, Minerva walked forward to her desk.

"Koloreen?" Minerva called out.

Instantly a petite ghost appeared in front of her. "Headmistress?"

"I will be teaching the class today. Ms. Granger will be back tomorrow, so you are free to go."

Koloreen smiled, "Thank you ma'am. Have a nice day."

"You too."

With that, the ghost disappeared back into the castle.

Minerva opened the drawer to find Hermione's leather notebook full of lessons plans. She flipped to today's entry:

_Fourth Years: Transfiguring liquids into solids and back. Theory of Transfiguration, pages 127-135. Copy down all charts. Essay due, 2 feet of parchment on the changes that occur within matter (liq - solid). _

Minerva smiled. Hermione was not letting the students off easy. Good. They needed someone to be hard on them.

Minerva summoned the board to her and flicked her wrist, creating diagrams on the process of solidification.

The bell chimed the start of classes, and the students began filing in, each one's face falling when they saw the Headmistress sitting at the desk.

When everyone was present, Minerva stood up.

"Good afternoon, class. Let's begin, shall we?"

xxxxxx

Hermione walked into her rooms to find it oddly silent. She glanced in Hugo and Rose's room to find them asleep.

Looking at the clock, she realized she'd been gone for only a couple of hours, so she decided to let them sleep.

Hermione made her way into her bedroom when she remembered she had a class today. Inwardly berating herself for forgetting, she went to the large portrait that was a portal between her rooms and the classroom.

Opening it, she could instantly hear Minerva's voice ringing through the dark corridor.

"Now that you are done reading, let us discuss your essays. Your topic sentence should accurately describe…"

Hermione smiled. Minerva was in her element teaching Transfiguration again.

Deciding to let her continue, she turned around and gently closed the portrait behind her.

She moved to the couch and lay down again. Feeling something different, she reached underneath her to find a letter.

_My dearest Hermione, _

_I have been shut away in my room for a couple of days, and I think the greater community here at Hogwarts is wondering if I'm still alive._

_To reassure them, I'm going to make my daily rounds. I asked Sadie to keep an eye on the children, though they looked pretty dead to the world to me. _

_I do hope everything went well today with Ronald. _

_I will be back this evening after dinner to listen to what ever you wish to tell, but I will not pressure you if you are not ready to talk about it._

_I do hope, however, that you have gotten some measure of closure. You really do deserve to be happy._

_See you this evening!_

_All my love,_

_Minerva _

Hermione smiled and hugged the letter. Closing her eyes, she conjured the smell of Minerva's robe, remembering the feeling of truly being home.

_xxxxxx_

_A/N: Hope everyone enjoyed! More to come soon! _


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: Sorry for the delay. I've been busy and working on Nightmares, so it has taken me a while to start this chapter. _

_I think this might be what you all have been waiting for… _

_Again, sorry for the delay!_

_Enjoy!_

Xxxx

Minerva watched as the last student walked out of the classroom. A long day, sure, but she had enjoyed teaching Transfiguration again.

It had been too many years since she had been able to just walk into a class and teach the skills she loved the most.

It was rejuvenating, really.

Minerva gathered the parchment from today's classes and placed them in Hermione's top drawer.

Grabbing her wand, she cleaned off the board, dimmed the light, and turned to walk back through the portrait.

Entering, she found Hermione reading a Transfiguration book on the sofa. She was clearly enthralled, for she didn't even glance up when Minerva entered the room.

"Interesting read?"

Hermione's head shot up. "I didn't even hear you." She shut the book and placed it on the table.

"New?"

"No, just one that I needed to re-read before I attempted to teach NEWTS next semester. How were they today?"

Minerva laughed. "Rather silent, as I assigned them more than their usual amount of work."

"Classic Minerva."

Minerva chuckled and sat down beside the younger witch. "And how did your meeting with Ronald go?"

Hermione sighed and leaned against Minerva's slim figure. "Remarkably well, actually. We've come to a… sort of agreement about the whole thing. I really do think he wants to get better and be better. But it will take time."

The Scottish witch wrapped her arm around Hermione's shoulders and stroked her hair. "Yes, it will take time. But it is important- for you and your children."

Hermione moved closer. "I know it is."

Minerva hugged her and kissed her head.

"Have you showered?" Minerva asked.

Hermione shook her head. "No I just came in and started reading."

"Then how about you shower and meet me in my office for dinner? Wear something nice."

Hermione nodded and hugged her. "Thank you."

Minerva nodded and with a final kiss on her cheek, turned and walked out of the room through the back passage.

Xxxx

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror. She hadn't chosen something that was too extreme, just a simple black dress that hit just above her knees. It was strapless with a sweetheart neckline.

Hermione walked into Minerva's rooms to find it dimly lit with scores of tiny candles floating in the air.

Her breath flew right out of her chest. It was amazing.

Instead of Minerva's sitting area, there was a large dining table, and draped over it was an intricate cream colored lace tablecloth.

In the center stood two candles, both white gold and etched with what Hermione assumed were Gaelic writings.

The centerpiece itself was a clear glass bowl filled with the tops of white and red roses floating in the water.

Hermione felt tears spring to her eyes. She had never seen anything so beautiful… a simple table decorated with so much love and kindness…

Minerva walked out of her private rooms and stood at the top of the stairs. She cleared her throat and the younger witch spun around.

She was gorgeous.

She was wearing a white dress that went across one shoulder, the soft fabric hugged her chest and stomach then flowed out elegantly at her hips and landed gently at her feet. The fabric seemed to shine in the candle light; a million tiny sparkles shimmered every time she breathed.

Hermione couldn't breathe at all. She felt so blessed- how on Earth did such a wonderful, amazing witch like Minerva McGonagall fall in love with her?

Minerva stepped off the stairs and wrapped her arms around Hermione. The younger witch leaned into Minerva's neck, breathing in the familiar scent, wanting to remember it forever and never let it go.

"I love you so much." She breathed.

Scottish prevalent, "I love you too my darling."

They parted, eyes taking in each other's beauty.

They went perfectly together, the two witches.

Hand in hand, they walked to the table. Instantly their wine glasses filled and the food appeared, Minerva a steak with zucchini and for Hermione, chicken marsala.

They ate in silence, basking in the presence of the other.

What words could they say?

Xxxx

When the last drop of wine was gone, the witches silently stood up and grasped each other's hands. They knew what was coming next. They didn't need to say anything.

Minerva led Hermione up the stairs slowly, savoring each moment.

When they at last entered the bedroom, Minerva gently turned Hermione around and unzipped her dress, fingers lingering as each centimeter of skin was revealed.

When the zipper had finished its course, it fell in a black puddle around Hermione's feet. The Scottish witch's long fingers gently unclasped Hermione's bra, and it too fell to the floor. Hermione stepped out, not daring to turn around yet.

Minerva leaved in and trailed kisses across the younger's shoulders, back, wanting to memorize each line and muscle with her lips.

Reaching her underwear, Minerva pressed herself against Hermione's small frame and slipped her fingers inside the lace, pushing them down to meet the rest of the clothing on the floor.

She then grabbed Hermione's hand as she turned around, their positions reversed.

With shaky fingers, Hermione repeated the same sensual movements.

Minerva's back was strong, toned, and gently freckled. Her spine gently showed at the very top of her back, and it indented straight down to her hips.

Hermione couldn't help but smile at Minerva's lack of underwear. So like her.

Hermione pressed her body against the Headmistress, wrapping her arms around her stomach, feeling both of their muscles relax and mold into the gentle hold.

Neither wanted to move. It was so perfect, the two of them together. So happy.

The younger was the first to move, and with nimble fingers she undid the single clip holding Minerva's hair back, letting the dark locks cascade down her back.

Minerva turned around and ran her fingers through Hermione's hair, mocha eyes locking with emerald.

In sync, they walked to the bed and Hermione lay down. Shivers ran up her spine as her body pressed against the silk comforter.

Minerva eased her body on top of Hermione's, and inch by inch she lay down, their legs touching, their hips, stomach, chest.

And finally, with tenderness and unconditional affection, their lips met.

Sparks seemed to dance across the dark air as the two witches conveyed every ounce of their love to each other by the simply movement of their lips.

Minerva trailed her hand down Hermione's arm and held her hand as they molded together. This was more than sex. It was making love. It was showing each other that they would be there, no matter what.

Hermione ran her fingers through the Scottish witch's hair and nodded.

Needing no more encouragement, Minerva pressed her thigh against her hot center, feeling the arousal course through both of their systems.

The younger witch moaned and arched up, rubbing herself against Minerva, arching her back, desperate for more contact.

With a squeeze, the older witch released her hand and placed it on the small of Hermione's back, pushing their hips together in rhythm with their heated kisses.

With the other hand, she ran her fingers down Hermione's chest and caressed her breast, her feather light touch making Hermione's nipples turn hard in response.

It was so tender… so gentle… so unlike anything she had ever experienced…

Minerva's lips moved down, trailing kisses down her neck, chest, breast, down to her stomach.

Hermione tensed. Her stomach had stretch marks from Rose and Hugo- she wasn't the slim girl of her past.

Picking up on her reticence, Minerva rose up and pressed a kiss to Hermione's ear. "Give me your hand." She whispered into her ear.

Gently, she took Hermione's hand and ran it across her hips and thighs. Hermione smiled, feeling the same crevices of stretch marks on Minerva. "Don't pull away, darling. Don't ever pull away."

Hermione kissed Minerva, and the elder moved down and continued kissing Hermione's stomach, making sure she ran her fingers lovingly across every single inch.

She could smell the younger's arousal and it made her own centre grow moist with anticipation. Leaning down, she kissed the mound and gently pressed a finger against Hermione's bundle of nerves.

Moaning, Hermione fisted the sheets and shut her eyes, biting her lips as shocks went up her spine. She felt Minerva shift, and their lips were reunited as Minerva continued working her long fingers against the younger's center.

Soon the strokes became bolder, and Minerva pressed harder and moved quicker against Hermione's hot sex. The younger arched up, wanting more needing more.

"Please." Hermione whispered.

Minerva kissed her neck and entered two fingers into her. Slowly, gently, careful to press them against the silky walls inside of her.

Her walls tightened with the delicious sensation. Never had she felt like this in her life. Her hands let go of the sheets and she wrapped her arms around Minerva's back, clinging to her, needing to feel her inside her, on top of her, with her.

Minerva moaned as Hermione pressed her thigh against Minerva, relieving the pressure building up there too.

Minerva moved her fingers in and out, gently curling them against that secret spot deep inside Hermione. And each time, the elder witch would grind against Hermione's legs.

Both could feel the heat rising in them, their muscles tightening, beckoning for release.

Minerva added a third finger, moving in and out quicker, curling her fingers, pressing harder and harder.

Hermione closed her eyes and pressed her head against her pillow, feeling her climax rushing at her.

She reached down and pressed two fingers quickly inside Minerva, wanting her to feel the same thing she was.

Minerva let out a gasp and pushed Hermione's fingers deeper inside her.

Their movements became frenzied, heated, both desperate for release.

All too soon and not soon enough, their walls tightened and the heat in their groins was too much.

"Look at me… love… look at me…" Minerva whispered.

With difficultly, Hermione raised her brown eyes to meet Minerva's, both of their eyes were dark and shiny with lust, passion, desire, and love.

With one final thrust, Hermione went over the edge, and her spasms sent Minerva's climax ripping through her too.

They clung to each other, their bodies one with pleasure and love.

When their breathing returned to normal, they slipped their fingers from each other and held their flushed bodies together for all they were worth.

Minerva was the first to move, and she rolled over and wrapped her leg around Hermione.

Looking up, she saw silent tears rolling down Hermione's cheek.

Worry filling her body, she sat up and caressed the younger witch's cheek, "Oh my darling, what have I done?"

Hermione opened her eyes and held Minerva's hand against her cheek. "You have loved me like I have never been loved before. And, Minerva, I love you so much."

Minerva kissed her lips, kissed the salty trail of tears. "And you have loved me when I thought my chances were over. You saved me. And I love you, so very, very much."

Hermione rolled over and pressed her body against Minerva, holding her hand against her cheek.

Minerva responded, and shifted herself to be the "big spoon" against Hermione's small frame.

Minerva kissed Hermione's neck and whispered. "And in the morning, my darling, I shall be here too."

Xxxxxxx

_I hope y'all are happy! Epilogue to come 3 _


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: So I said that there would be an epilogue next, but I realized there was a little more I wanted to add before I finished it up. So here's an extra chapter, just for you darling readers! Enjoy, and infinite thanks for the reviews and support!_

_Xxxxx_

Minerva awoke with the early morning rays basking her room in a gentle yellow glow.

Glancing beside her, she smiled as Hermione slept soundly, arm wrapped tightly around the comforter. She looked peaceful and bundled.

Minerva gently rolled out of bed, grabbed her robe, and made her way to the bathroom. It was still early, only 6:30. It was Saturday, so she had the day to spend however she wanted.

Well, almost. She did have work that was piled onto her desk. But she didn't want to think about it right now.

What she knew she needed to do that she had been prolonging was talking to Ronald. She didn't know quite how she felt.

Angry, yes. Disappointed, yes. Sad, yes.

All at once she wanted to kill him, hit him, and hug him. Such a tangle of emotions.

She knew it wasn't fair to hate him for his actions, as he did have a serious addiction, but at the same time it was him who had started taking the potions in the first place.

Should she tell Hermione that she was going to see him?

Maybe not until afterwards. Hermione might try to stop her, no doubt she had some sort of idea about how Minerva felt about the whole incident.

Minerva took a quick shower and got dressed in a simple black dress and green robe.

Hermione still slept tightly on the bed.

She walked down into her office and withdrew a piece of parchment and a quill.

_Hermione,_

_Had to dash away early this morning and take care of a few things._

_You look like an angel sleeping so soundly on the bed, and I just didn't have the heart to wake you up._

_I'll be back later today, and perhaps I can entice you and the children to join me for a picnic at my home in Scotland…_

_Have a wonderful day, my darling._

_Love always,_

_Minerva_

She transfigured the quill into a red rose and gently walked upstairs and placed the note and flower on her vacated pillow.

Xxxxxx

Minerva walked hesitantly down the committed ward. She really didn't know what she was going to say or what she was going to do.

Emotions battled in her head and heart. She had been used to dealing with difficult matters, but this one hit far too close to her heart for her to be completely rational.

She arrived at the door and gently knocked. A chair moved; She heard a muffled reply and the door swung open.

Ronald stood before her in his robe, a pair of navy night pants and a white T-shirt rumpled from sleep.

He looked better than she remembered him- eyes clear, face shaven. Definitely not the man who had been drunk outside of the tavern a mere week ago.

"Professor," he mumbled, looking embarrassed and ashamed. "Come in," he weakly said.

Minerva nodded and entered the small apartment. "Mr. Weasley," she began.

Ron shook his head. "You don't have to say anything, Professor. I know how you feel."

She cocked her brow, "Do you? Really?"

Ron turned red and look hard at his feet. "Yeah. You think I'm a no good son of a bitch who ought to have the shit beaten out of him for treating his family so bad. I know you probably want to kill me yourself."

Minerva scoffed in a weak attempt to not show how accurate Ron actually was.

"No, let me finish," he said. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry for screwing up so many people's lives for so long. I'm sorry I was a lousy husband, son, brother and father. I hate myself, Professor. I do. Since I've been here, there isn't a second that goes by that I don't wish I could turn back time and make it all better…

… And I'm not just saying that either. I mean it. I hate the person I was. I was so out of control, and to be honest, Professor, I don't even remember half of what has happened these past seven years. I'm a wreck. I'm a no good person. I'm a bloody failure. And I know how good of a person you are. Not just as a teacher, but as a lover and friend to Hermione…

…I know you can give her everything I failed to. And I want you both to be happy, ok? Just make her and the children happy, because I know I can't. Please, Professor, if you can, please try to make the hurt I caused go away for them. That's all I want. I want them all to be happy."

By this time Minerva couldn't hide her tears and she stepped forward and wrapped Ron into a tight hug.

"Oh, Ronald, thank you. Thank you for saying that. You are a good person, dear. You do have good in you. And you are one step closer to being the man I know you can be."

She stepped back and looked into his hazel eyes. "You aren't dead, Mr. Weasley. You still have the chance to right many of the wrongs yourself. When the time is right, you can talk to Hermione and Rose and make up for some of the lost time. It isn't too late, Mr. Weasley. It's _never_too late."

Xxxxx

Hermione rolled over and tried to pull herself out of sleep. But the bed was so warm, so cozy… she just wanted a few more minutes of blissful sleep.

Then memories began to flood back… the dinner… the candles… the kisses… the absolutely gorgeous love-making…

She reached out her hand to snuggle in beside Minerva but felt nothing but parchment.

Eyes snapping open, she looked beside her, only to find a letter and a perfect red rose laying on Minerva's vacated pillow.

She read the letter and smiled. So thoughtful of her. And she knew the children would enjoy a day out in the crisp autumn outdoors.

She put on her robe that Minerva had so sweetly placed on the dresser and walked downstairs and heard silence. Rose and Hugo were still in her rooms.

Opening the portrait into her rooms, she heard her children playing in the den. She looked at the clock, 7:45. So they were definitely in full swing.

"Hi Mama!" "Mum!" They cried out, running forward.

"Hi darlings! How are you? Did you sleep well?"

Both heads nodded. "Guess what?" Rose said.

"What?"

Hugo stepped forward with a piece of parchment in his hand. "Erva gived us a note!"

Hermione smiled, "May I read it?"

They nodded and Hugo gently placed the letter in Hermione's hand.

_Hello, my Darling Lass and Lad!_

_A little bird told me that both of you enjoy swimming very much. _

_I'm glad you do, swimming is a most important skill to learn._

_I have a surprise for both of you. Ask your mother to take you to my bathroom._

_Be sure to wear your swim clothes. There will be a surprise for you when you go in._

_Be good, and there might be another surprise later today._

_Love, hugs, and kisses,_

_Minerva/Erva _

They looked at their mother expectantly with eager eyes. "So Mama? Can we go?" Rose asked gently, scared that she would say no.

Hermione pretended to ponder the idea for a while, and Rose and Hugo began shifting their weight from one leg to another in anticipation.

"Hmmmmm," she said, both leaning forward. "Alright, why not."

"YAYYYYYYYY!" They screamed. Rose grabbed onto Hugo and both of them began bouncing up and down and screaming in excitement.

Hermione laughed. "Go put on your swim suits, then!"

Her children smiled guiltily up at her. "Well…" Rose began.

Hugo stepped forward and pulled down his pants, revealing his favorite train swim trunks beneath. "Wees gots em!" He exclaimed.

Hermione laughed and Rose lifted up her shirt to reveal her pink polka dot swimsuit. "Me too!"

"Alright then," she said. "Up to the bathroom we go!"

The children dashed ahead and opened the portrait. Eager little feet thumped on the floor as they dashed up the stairs to Minerva's bathroom.

Hermione smiled at their happiness and hurried to join them.

When she arrived in her room, the kids were waiting at the door, not wanting to enter the dark room.

With a flick, Hermione turned the lights on and where Minerva's shower once stood, there was a large pool. It was immensely larger than the prefect's tub- it even had a small slide and a diving board.

Floating on the water was an inflated ball and raft.

"Woahhhhhh." The children said in unison. They stood their stunned.

Small little Hugo couldn't quite swim on his own yet, but Minerva had placed a small inner tube with his name on the side at the edge of the pool. It even had little places to put his legs in so he could float around.

Hermione was touched at the gesture, and Hugo immediately dashed forward and fitted himself into it.

"Ready?" He asked his sister.

"Ready. One, two, three, JUMP!"

And with a splash they landed in the water. Rose popped up a moment later, laughing joyfully. Without any prompting from her mother, she began pushing Hugo around the pool, throwing the ball at him, and helping him out so he could get on the slide too.

Hermione sat on the side with her feet dangling in. She couldn't believe how thoughtful Minerva was. No one had ever been this thoughtful- ever. Her whole body hummed with pleasure and happiness.

Two hands wrapped around Hermione's waist and she jumped, startled, but eased into the hold when she smelled the distinct perfume.

"Minerva…"

"Hello darling," she throatily whispered. "No swim for you?"

Hermione shook her head. "I like watching them."

Minerva stepped around and nearly shocked Hermione to death- she was in a black bathing suit with a small skirt attached to it.

"What? Can't I swim too?"

Hermione smiled and shook her head. "Of course, but you look so…"

"Different?"

"Hot." Hermione said, giving Minerva a devilish wink.

Minerva pretended to blush and ignore the compliment, but she couldn't hide the grin on her face.

"Erva!" Hugo cried- he spotted her first.

"Minerva!" Rose yelled. "Come play with us!"

"Peeees!" He added.

"Alright!" She called, "On my way!"

With a final smile at Hermione she did an elegant dive into the water, barely making a splash as her slim body entered the water.

Underwater, she tickled Rose and Hugo's feet, making them both squirm and squeal.

She surfaced and began pulling Hugo around the pull while Rose held on to the back of the tube.

Hermione smiled at the scene.

A family.

It was perfect.

Xxxxx

_A/N: So a shorter chapter, but full of sweet things nonetheless. I'm thinking maybe one more chapter before epilogue? We'll see._

_Love to all my readers, xoxoxo _


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Thanks to everyone who have continued to read this story! I'm sad and happy to say that this is the final chapter, epilogue included. I hope everyone has enjoyed the ride! I have loved every second of writing this and reading your wonderful reviews.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. This wouldn't be written without you!

Xxxxxxx

The Final Chapter, To Find That Spark

Xxxxxxx

Rose sat on her mother's bed, silently coloring in her book. Hugo was asleep in his room.

Hermione sat against the headboard grading papers. Her first week back after Ron's incident and she was already swamped with essays to grade.

So far, the students had done well. They understood the theory behind spells wonderfully, but their application was lacking.

About halfway through her stack, Hermione looked down and noticed that Rose was just staring out into space, not coloring.

"Darling, everything alright?" She gently asked.

Rose looked up and tilted her head. "Can I ask you something, Mama?"

She placed the essays on her bedside table. "Ask away."

"You like Minerva, right?"

"Yes, do you?"

Rose shook her head. "No, Mama, a different kind of like."

Hermione sighed. She knew this was coming, but she wasn't quite sure how she'd handle the whole thing. "What kind of like do you think, darling?"

Rose shifted, looking very uncomfortable. "Well, do you kiss her?"

Hermione blushed, remembering the night they had first made love and the following nights they could be together.

"Would it bother you if we did?"

She thought about it. "Well, I thought kissing was for mommies and daddies?"

Hermione closed her eyes. How on earth does she respond to this?

She plunged in. "Well, Rose, it's like this. Two people can love each other. It doesn't matter if they are two women, a man and a woman, or two men. It's the fact that they love each other that matters. That is the only thing important."

Rose thought about it. "Do you love Daddy?"

"Not in the way a wife should."

She thought about it some more. "But do you love Minerva?"

Hermione looked at her daughter. "Yes, I do. Very much."

"Does Minerva love you?"

"Yes, she does."

Rose nodded her head and withdrew a book from under the covers. "Sadie gave me this. She said it was in Minerva's language."

"Oh?'

Rose nodded. "And there's a word in here, Mathair, and it means mother in Goo-lic."

"Gaelic, dear, Gaelic."

"Gaelic."

"Good."

"Well, if you love Minerva and she loves you, does that mean she's my mathair? Because you're my Mom. And that's not changing. But if Minerva's here with me too, I want her to know she's loved too."

Hermione leaned in a hugged her daughter. So smart and understanding, so incredibly beyond her years.

"Yes, Rose, I think that will work just fine. But how about you ask her yourself tomorrow?"

"Ok."

"And what does Hugo think about this?" She asked.

Rose giggled. "Hugo loves her too, Mama!"

Xxxxx

The next day, Minerva sat at her desk, quill scratching against the parchment. She had about two more feet of parchment to work through for accounting. And then she could finally take a much needed break.

She felt the Gargoyle activate and without looking up she said, "If you could please come back later I'm rather busy."

A small voice answered, "I'm sorry."

Minerva's head snapped up. "Rose! Oh I'm so sorry darling I thought it was one of the professors! Come in, sit down. Is everything okay?"

Rose nodded and walked forward. Minerva leaned down and opened her arms, and she dashed forward and hugged her tightly.

"Yes, we're good. I have a question."

Minerva held her hand and they sat down on the sofa. "Ask away my lass."

"You love Mama, right?"

Minerva blushed. "Yes, I do. Why?"

"Well she loves you too."

"Yes."

"And she's my Mother."

"And that will not change."

Rose nodded. "I know, but I was wondering if you could be my Mathair?"

Minerva's eyes went wide with surprise and her heart skipped a beat. All her life- this was what she had always dreamed of. A bright little girl beaming up at her with the love only a child can give a parent. Tears started pouring out before she could stop them, and she just couldn't pull herself together.

Rose covered her mouth. "I'm so sorry, Minerva, I'm sorry! Don't cry!"

"Oh my dear…" She tried to stop the tears. "Rose… I love you… Thank you… Yes, yes, yes!... I'll be your Mathair!"

They hugged each other and rocked back and forth, both never wanting to let go.

Xxxxxxxx

-March of the Following Year-

The spring night was cool and crisp.

Rose and Hugo were all tucked into bed, and Hermione and Minerva snuggled together underneath the blankets on the bed.

It had been a wonderful day. They had all gone to the Scotland Highlands for a picnic, and the kids spend the day roaming around the hillsides.

They sat together now, fingers and legs entwined as they sat close beside each other in the dim firelight.

"My darling, I need to ask you something." Minerva said, her alto voice making Hermione's heart warm.

"Anything."

Minerva climbed out of bed and came around the where Hermione was sitting.

"Minerva, what…?

Then the Scottish witch kneeled down on the ground.

Reaching into her bathrobe pocket, she withdrew a small leather box with HM stamped on the top.

Hermione couldn't breathe. No way that was…. Was it?

"Oh, Minerva…"

She lifted her head and emerald eyes gazed into brown ones.

"Hermione, you are the most amazing person I have ever met. You are kind, brilliant, funny, loving, caring and beautiful. Every second I'm with you, my heart sings. I can't imagine living without you, and frankly, I don't want to. You're the one who makes me happy. You're the one I want to wake up with and fall asleep next to. I want to sit in front of the fireplace and read with you, I want to debate when you don't agree with me. I want to love you and your children and help you raise them. I want to be there for you, Hermione, and I want you with me forever. I love you. I love you so much. Hermione, will you marry me?"

By this time Hermione was a blubbering mess, and she was crying and laughing and smiling all at the same time. She knew she must look stupid, tears streaming, nose dripping.

Minerva reached up and wiped her tears.

And Hermione nodded, and it was like she couldn't stop- she didn't want to.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!"

Minerva opened the box. Inside sat an enormous diamond ring, easy two carats. It was in a round brilliant cut, and on both sides of it were two emeralds.

"Oh my god!" Hermione cried. The ring was… well my god it must have cost a fortune.

As if reading her mind, Minerva said, "It didn't cost a thing. It was my mother's."

Hermione gasped as Minerva slid the beautiful ring on her finger. It was a tad big, but like magic, it adjusted to her finger and it fit perfectly.

Hermione leaned down and kissed Minerva, tenderly, as if for the very first time.

"I love you." She whispered.

Minerva smiled against her lips, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you, too, my darling."

Xxxxxxx

-EPILOGUE-

Minerva wrapped herself in a thick tartan blanket and walked out onto the porch of her bedroom at the manor.

Even though it was the beginning of August, the morning was cool, barely sixty degrees if that.

She felt two arms wrap around her waist, and she opened her arms to allow her wife to stand with her under the blanket.

They stood there together, looking out onto the hills.

It was beautiful, perfect, serene.

And they were happy. Absolutely happy.

Minerva leaned her head down against Hermione's messy brown hair.

They didn't need to say anything.

As they stood together watching the sun peak over the horizon, they knew that this was what they had been missing their whole life.

This was the love that was meant to last. It burned bright but steady- there to last.

They wrapped their hands together and felt their magic ripple across their skin.

Hermione leaned up and kissed Minerva. She didn't think she would ever get used to the feel of those perfect lips against hers.

Everything was so surreal about her, and it seemed like everyday her capacity for love grew.

Minerva broke the gentle kiss and smiled down, her emerald eyes shining in the early sunlight.

"Don't ever leave me," she whispered, her brogue making Hermione fall in love all over again.

Hermione shook her head. "Don't you ever stop loving me."

And with that, they kissed each other again- the rays warming them as it peaked over the hilltop.

Hermione touched her hand gently to Minerva's cheek, her wedding ring shining brilliantly in the new light.

Forever… the morning seemed to whisper…

Forever… the words formed as their lips kissed…

Forever.

Forever.

Xxxxxx

_A/N: Again, to everyone, Thank you 3 _


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